MY ART

Never underestimate PRAYER!

2012-02-15T06:08:00.003-05:00

before God, we can't hide our hearts.
our true motives,
our judgments
and especially our selfish ways
no matter how we justify ourselves
for the wrong we do,,,
and often even to the point of delighting in it!
even attempting to say God over looks your wrong-
or would even bless it-
God is JUST.
God judges the heart...
and He changes us because
of His Love for us!
we may not understand
because our eyes see
according to our own limited way....
BUT GOD.
Because of God's greatness,
He see's our weakness..
and see's the inner person
the ones He knows in the intimate place,
He speaks to
those whom He draws to himself
not so they can't be condemned
or self righteous
but so they can walk into FREEDOM
in His kindness He moves our hearts
away from that which only hinders
so that we are no longer the same~
He is loyal and faithful,
and he teaches us to be the same
and as He asks us to walk in His ways
they often do not mix well with our nature
nor do others understand-
we have a choice to make
do we chose to walk out in faith
that which we know in our spirit
to be true?

When the Lords asks you to stand
for that which man does not understand
it is most often mocked.

LET THEM LAUGH!

Because when you honor God
with all that you are,
and all that He is requiring of you
YOU WILL FIND
FAVOR in AMAZING PLACES.
you will find PEACE,
AMAZING GRACE
and STRENGTH
that is worth FAR MORE
than any way we could chose our self!!
so let them laugh,
take them to the Lord
he will move your heart
as you humble yourself
He will move on your behalf!
When you take those who mock to Him
and get right before Him in motive
when you stand in prayer
when you set your eyes upon
Him, and Him Alone...

YOUR PRAYERS MOVE MOUNTAINS!
They destroy strongholds
as they come before His throne
and the ALMIGHTY God
is moved by YOUR response
You have the authority to
COMMAND darkness to fall
when you are right before the Lord
HE comes to your rescue
and He silence's the mouth
of the mocker!

SO be encouraged,
CONTINUE to PRAY
and you will SEE
the POWER of
the MOST High God
DO the
IMPOSSIBLE!!
FOR HIS GLORY!

The prayer of a righteous person
is powerful and effective
James 5:16

The Battlefield

2012-02-14T09:07:00.001-05:00

The Battlefield, a photo by paintYOURworld on Flickr.

A few years ago while traveling, my kids and I came upon this battlefield in Louisiana. From the moment I walked upon the memorial, I felt the strong presence of the Lord, as he moved admist my brokenness, to strengthen and empower me to FIGHT for my marriage, despite my circumstance.

My heart was softened as I walked about, and entered the graveyard. Each stone represented so clearly, the battle they believed in...one that they gave their life for! The Lord questioned me. Would I stand in hope, would I battle and endure despite the cost?

It was not an answer that came easy.

I had to face the reality of the pain that cut to the very core of my being....the abandonment, embarrassment, the anger, and most importantly the choice to guard my heart against bitterness and blame. Did I have hope? Barely a glimmer...My mind was set on I'm content to be alone for the rest of my days, I didn't need a broken man.

The Lord didn't push me, or make me feel guilt, instead he revealed his Love. The truth of what Love really is. He showed me his scars, he opened my blind eyes to see. The death he endured, he did for even those who choose Him not...and as I came into understanding of what it would cost me...

I raised my hands to surrender as I stood looking out at the vast battlefield--
(yes this photo is actually me my son took it)

I will do it for you Lord. Only for you...

I SURRENDER ALL!

because you showed me the TRUTH of Love!!

Today I have an abundance of hope,
as I trust in Love!
As I stand in the midst of the battle
WINNING---
at Love fights for me--

Love does not gloat over other people's sins but takes its delight in the truth!

Love always hopes-
always endures!!

the art of LOVE

2012-02-12T06:32:00.001-05:00

artofLOVE, a photo by paintYOURworld on Flickr.

altered polaroid series

O le a le uiga o le alofa?
What is love?

I had not really pondered on this question much, until I was asked it by the Creator himself. I thought I knew and I tried to explain to him my answer...then He opened my blind eyes!
....I realized what thought was love, was actually an impostor. I had no idea, what love cost, nor was I truly willing to pay that price.

If your asking yourself that question, especially as Valentines Day approaches, I dare you to ask God.

What is Love, {and does my life display it?}

Especially for those that are hard to love....

and more so for those you may take for granted....

You might just be incredibly surprised at His answer. I was!

My whole life has since changed!
FOR the BETTER!!

Surrounded by beauty

2012-02-11T21:43:00.003-05:00

Surrounded by beauty, a photo by paintYOURworld on Flickr.

I love my beautiful four legged neighbors.......

waking to them, makes my heart swell

connecting spirit to spirit-

i don't have adequate words....

their beauty soothes the soul.

I LOVE the RAIN!

2012-02-09T05:28:00.006-05:00

Everyday the sunrises beautifully!

Each new day I go about my life familiar

with what I know,

my world is reliable.

I expect the sun to rise, and for it to set.

Today is today,

tomorrow is another day,

rinse and repeat.

Now imagine with me,

beautiful sunshine filled days,

not just for one day,

but all day,

everyday,

every week,

every month,

every year!

{Sounds perfect right!}

So now, I (we are imagining together so you too)

have come to rely on the sun

consistently

to shine.

It is what we know~

our weather is predictable.

According to our

perspective

sunny days are great!

Dwell on that for a minute....

did you catch that

there has NEVER been

a rain forming cloud in the sky!

Its SUNNY all day, every day!

In this perspective, life is good

I am happy,

I do what I want.

I enjoy the beautiful weather

daily

without thought,

without consequence.

I am comfortable.

Then, SUDDENLY,

the Creator of the Earth

says

RAIN

is coming.

He wants me,(you, us)

to prepare for

the

RAIN.

RAIN????

What does RAIN look like?

What does it feel like?

What value does it have to my life?

I LOVE the SUN!

I mean, will I like the rain?

I don't know RAIN!

I only know the sun!

I am comfortable with the sun.

I don't really want things to change.

However,

I know the Creator,

I trust Him~

if he says it must come,

I will prepare for the rain

hmmm I may just

love the rain~

So I tell others,

the Creator says

its going to rain!!

The Creator says

its gonna

make all things new~

BUT No one believes me-

they have never heard of

the rain,

they laugh,

they feel sorry for me

they think I have gone

mad---

Sunny days come and go,

there is no rain in sight

but it doesn't stop me....

I am waiting for the RAIN!!

It's about to RAIN!!

Let it RAIN!!

The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

2012-02-06T06:31:00.002-05:00

....

2012-01-18T18:28:00.002-05:00

Enjoying family

2011-11-22T16:27:00.008-05:00

My beautiful grandmother!

The road this time has brought me home, to where I grew up. I have been enjoying my grandparents, and family. My boys do not want to leave! lol They have spent so much of their life away from family, that they really do appreciate being here. It reminds me, of what I often take for granted. Life is so fragile, and there is no promise of tomorrow. Your family may not be around you, but if possible take the time to connect with them. They may or may not show it, or say it, but it does touch their heart. Even the coldest of ones.

I am so thankful for the time, I get to spend with the beautiful people who invest in my life. There is so much you learn about yourself with your family (good and even bad) and even appreciate more when you are older. For that wisdom, I am thankful!

I am one happy & blessed woman!

photo by Carla Naron

The SOURCE of my JOY

2011-11-02T23:54:00.014-04:00

I Chose JOY!

The source of my JOY can be summed up in one powerful word-

It may be infinitely worse to refuse to forgive than to murder, because
the latter may be an impulse of a moment of heat; whereas the former
is a cold and deliberate choice of the heart.

George MacDonald

I did not harden my heart.

It is incredibly hard

for some to understand

how I can

FORGIVE

{yes even the adultress and her pride}

AND be

so thankful

and full of

JOY.

Forgiveness is my weapon.

My pain is valid

and yet

{Forgiveness is the scent that the rose leaves on
the heel that crushes it.}

Forgiveness does not release the offender from walking away

without any

consequences to their choices

consequences are a natural part of life...

however

FORGIVENESS

does release and empower

the one forgiving

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

-Gandhi

It is a daily CHOICE to forgive.

I know its not easy,

but its possible!

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when is foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

E.H. Chapin

Because I chose this, JOY happens naturally.

I find favor in places I never knew.

I find favor in the eyes

My Love,

{the one that matters most}

True Love NEVER FAILS.

who am I talking to??

2011-11-02T04:47:00.005-04:00

i have to go here;

i'm sorry if it may be too much

however this is not about you,

heck its not about me....

and yet it is

This is exactly why I must tell my story.

You are why I must tell my story.

For far too long, you have had your own way.

all the while hindering your own blessing

oh yes you may think its all so good now

but deep down you know,

you KNOW

you

have traded a promise for a lie...

trying to justify

trying to convince others

yet they know

even

they know!

and for those who have accepted the lie,

they do not truly love you.

if they did they would FIGHT for you.

for the truth,

for your freedom!

you have

thoughtlessly traded

your birthright

blind,

lacking in understanding

of what you have given up!

you sold your birthright Esau!

while you have proudly put on a show for the public

pretending,

yet knowing

that you

are settling for an imitation....

though you don't deserve it.

I will fight for your destiny,

because someone fought

for my destiny!

LIKEWISE

where my story left off

I was so close to settling for an imitation.

I deserve better!

I'm so much happier on my own!

I want to be happy!

AND FREE

God doesn't want me to not be happy!

Its time to let go & move on!

There is someone else who will be better!

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

THIS IS WHERE I WAKE UP.

THIS IS WHERE {THE LORD}

asks

the question.

"Do you LOVE me?"

my reply: {of course i do!}

"Do you LOVE me?"

again my reply: {you know I do!}

He softly calls my name....

"emmy"

"Do you LOVE me?"

My heart breaks and tears flow. Because I know what He's asking.

And Because I do love Him.

I sobbingly reply: I can't do it without you Lord.

He holds me close, kisses my face and whispers "I know".

not by my might, but BY YOUR SPIRIT, says the Lord

2011-11-01T05:37:00.003-04:00

This photo was taken last year.

It is extremely significant.

It is God showing me WHO he is.

It is one of a series of many prayers being answered.

It is the promise of restoration.

It is the representation of TRUE LOVE.

Before you say or think awwww..

I must tell you this is not that kind of love story!

I wrote this post then

The quote

We are responsible for the stories we tell

& for those we choose not tell.

Our silences speak volumes

about whom & what we value.

-Rabbi SE Sasso

It is my time to tell my story, Gods story!!

My silence then, was only the beginning

of the MOST beautiful LOVE STORY.

It will now speak of whom and what I value.

Two years ago,

the most beautiful thing

happened to me!!!

Adultery

yes i said it was a beautiful thing!

ok not actually

but what came from it was!

The Creator of Love,

showed me the TRUTH of LOVE,

_I thought_

adultery

killed

my marriage.

{insert evil laugh}

IT thought it

destroyed our lives.

and sat laughing at our pain-

delighting in its lust and seduction-

telling lies,

misrepresenting

what Love is,

an imitation

selfish to its very core.

It sold us lies,

that we bought.

_temporarily_

BUT

IT DID NOT.

WIN

{insert JOY & DANCING}

it ONLY MADE

EVERYTHING BETTER!!!!

OH Yah IT DID!

yes, you can believe it.

THIS death

was actually LIFE!

I wouldn't change a moment

since it was exposed.

It contains a strength

that refuses to be silent!

LET THERE BE LIGHT!

Now you may think, this love story

is about my husband and I....

well not really.

Its about the Creator of Covenant.

because he understands how we are made

My Love story,

is that of He,

the

One that is jealous of my LOVE

He loved me in a way

that I can often not comprehend

WHY? OH why?

would this beautiful Creator

value me?

Broken, Flawed & Unfaithful

yes unfaithful to Him....

THAT I AM NO MORE.

the CREATOR showed me

the power of Love

that can destroy strongholds,

that can destroy lies,

that can overcome,

anything.

yes even that!

yes even THIS!

Before you let your mind wander

let me clarify

My unfaithfulness

didn't come in the form of a flesh

it came in a

much more

devious

fashion...

dressed

to the nines..

disguising itself as freedom...

yet it was only

leading me

toward

captivity.

Stay tuned

This story will be continued....

interesting things

2011-10-30T00:28:00.003-04:00

Thank you for the MIRACLE!

2011-10-29T03:12:00.005-04:00

When you are present, Lord, there is FIRE..you are ALWAYS Faithful!

Thank you, Thank you. Thank you!

Beauty is something internal that can't be destroyed.

Beauty expresses itself

in a gentle & quiet attitude

which God considers precious. 1pt34

TRUE LOVE WINS!

Free eBook

2011-10-05T23:43:00.004-04:00

I've got quite a few books I'm reading at the moment,

but just downloaded this one,

can't wait to read it!

Lucado's writings are truly poetic.

God's Story, Your Story by Max Lucado free !

Sneak PeAk! gROWN uP Coloring Book 2!

2011-09-30T19:40:00.007-04:00

A few years ago, I started the grown-up coloring book

....which was sooo much fun!

I've finally put out a new one...

just in time for FaLL swaps/Halloween Treat bags

and if I may

{I really LOVE it}!

I'm still tweaking the covers

as I'm hand making them

but here

are a few sneak

peaks

of some

pages...

If you wanna pre-order they are $5

(shipping +$1)

PRE-ORDERS get XTRA PAGE bonus/treats!

If you live outside the US; shipping charge will vary

so please let me know before you pay! {~Thank You~}

Not all pages printed on white paper

{some printed on cool found/recycled papers!}

I'm gonna do a few

GIVEAWAYS

too-

and give a

FINAL LOOK

so you can see the

whole!

so stay tuned!

Go FIND your oil pastels/crayons!

EXPOSED: I am LOVESICK

2011-09-29T22:32:00.005-04:00

My eyes are upon
my LOVE
my {Creator}
because I've set
them upon him,
I can see clearly.
I am not afraid.
I can NOT be broken!
For His Love
is my shield
my strength
my peace.

"Because {s}he loves me," says the LORD,
"I will rescue {her}; I will protect {her},
for {s}he acknowledges my name."

Psalm 91:14

I am LOVESICK.

I will not
trade a
PROMISE
for a LIE.

Thank YOU
for the
TRUTH,
my one,
MY ONLY
true LOVE,
my heart aches
from your LOVE.

There is none

like YOU!!

good times

2011-09-20T17:20:00.004-04:00

"Feel THE RHYTHM

FEEL the RHYME

Get on up

ITS BOBSLED TIME!"

-cool runnings

had alot of laughs yesterday

as we broke out the ice

and rode it!

yes they are riding on BLOCKS of ice!

{ok i didn't really, i was taking photo's lol}

but love this shot below

as they lost control

and rolled down

siano mastered it and rode that grass!

couldn't help but giggle at edina who had her paparazzi out!

If you are not sure WHAT exactly ICE BLOCKING is watch the middle video as my friend Shannon
explains and shows you in video
of how our team ice blocked
down the beautiful hills in Switzerland!

we are still in search of a kick ass hill
but for now this one

worked! good times had!

What you waiting for???

2011-09-18T16:57:00.007-04:00

I am not waiting for someone

to show me the way-

GOD says

C R E A T E

YOUR OWN way!

He GAVE me the

POWER to

speak into

the atmosphere

and

CREATE

{my} LIFE.

even

in the

midst

opposition,

circumstance,

and pain.

It has not

stopped

me...

it only

fueled me

to being

sharper

and more

influential!!

My life is

full of what

I've created

around me.

It is {my}

powerful

weapon.

I LACK NOTHING.

because

PRAISE

is NOT

what i DO

its

WHO I AM!

I will NOT BE SILENT.

You WILL hear me

when I DON'T even

SAY A WORD.

Praise processes

you into possession.

therefore, I lack

NOT_ A_ THING.

What are YOU waiting for?

CREATE YOUR LIFE.

some pretty things

2011-09-17T03:58:00.004-04:00

$12

$12

$12

$35

$35

Have quite a few more pieces made with african beads
that I'll be posting {more of}

here's a few i love:

$12 each {plus S&H}

necklace $20

TO PURCHASE click on

the donate button

via paypal

{scroll up -above-on sidebar

above the photo of the cute

little girl!}

SHIPPING FOR

1 pair earrings $2

necklaces $4

more than 1 item

i'll combine for ya-

2011-09-07T23:12:00.003-04:00

CREATING {A} POWER SHIFT.

A stronghold is a mindset that is resistant to change!
BUT not my mind,
this is MY GOD MOMENT!

I don't wanna stay the same!!

How bout you??

PRAY LOVE

2011-09-04T22:45:00.004-04:00

"What is the source of this peace that defies pain?
I call it sacred delight."

-Max Lucado
.

three powerful words that forever changed ME

2011-08-17T23:20:00.000-04:00

i had no idea of {LOVE}
until these
three simple words
completely changed me.

its like NO OTHER.

what am i up to?

2011-07-26T16:42:00.009-04:00

i'm hungry for sushi...so tempted to make a food run. i will resist.
i think i can.
i KNOW i can.
well i can...
cuz the place is closed right now!! lol

so i've had this ? alot lately...
WHAT are you up to?

HAVING A WHOLE LOTTTTTTA FUN-

would be my answer!!

late may started an

STEALTH
{arts} bootcamp

with some incredible young people

who have a {PASSION} to know God and make Him known through the ARTS!
that pretty much took every waking moment of my time till mid July...
they are currently on outreach in the beautiful SWISS country....

It took me a good fight {and quite a few trips into Chicago}
to get a few of our students to get to Switzerland
due to visa issues
-but BY GOD's WORD they made it there!!

and are by this photo having a VAERYY GOOD time--

in all of their goooofy-ness!

photo: DEb♥RAW

whilest they PLAY-
I'm preppin for another school that starts mid august

{date has changed to AUG 22) so if you
LOVE to dance:
LOVE GOD;

you may just
wanna email me!
these are college credits
with University of the Nations

then our

SWATT DTS
is just around the corner from that!

YEP gonna be a CRAZY BUSY YEAR!!

so I'm gonna take another ROAD TRIP

TODAY

to spend time with my family----

♥LOVE IT!!
♥ LOVE MY LIFE!

harsh yet SO true {pride series}

2011-06-10T00:00:00.007-04:00

We often think pride, is the OBVIOUS,
don't ever underestimate this nasty one
it is much SO more craftier than that..
it hides in the eyes of those
who ARE RIGHT.
and YOUR NOT.

it is the {in} of INJUSTICE.
it lurks among the subtle,
with the smirk,
that hovers among
the gossip
and judgement...
that often comes with
a tag
of let's pray for
so.N.so
as they themselves begin
the descent
the
tear
d
o
w
n
of what one {thinks} they know
all the while
lifting of
{oneself}
UNAWARE
of the exchange made
a hefty price paid to
a death
sentence
of
PRIDE.

when i let go of my Pride, I find your eyes {pride series}

2011-06-05T04:21:00.004-04:00

{the power
of
letting
go}

I Am a BLESSED MAMA

2011-05-08T04:22:00.006-04:00

.
a summary of the where's and whats in the last few months
its life on the RUN!

last month took to me to the beautiful mountains of North Carolina...

on a sweeet road trip with friends

believe it or not i literally snapped only a few photos, doh

but THIS ONE sums it all up

IT was INTENSE

from the moment we left to the return

we drove like the mad all nighter freaks that we are
and came to rest into a PEACEFUL AND BEAUTIFUL PLACE

met new friends, had intense conversations

and yet had much laughter!!

**i interrupt my own blogpost for a song outburst*

bring me joy
bring me peace
bring me anything

that brings YOU

{CREATOR}

glory!

*ok resume*

back to Kansas City,

where I've grown some roots

and yet still have wings....

i'm preparing for a whole lot more traveling

in the next few months

with some art training schools

that i'm co-leading, so its keeping me

a good kine busy

this will take me internationally

and i'm ready to do what i love-

explore!! {and art

the most important

the CREATOR: of course!}

and i've been exploring around about

so here's some fun zoo time with one of my boys

-thankfully he loves to explore like his mama

some of my fav animals shots-

love this photo-so much i'm gonna post it again!

TWO OF THE SCARIEST ANIMALS AT THE ZOO!!

i loved this donkey!

the birds...oh their colors...if only i could truly capture their beauty!!

and i recently realized OMG i'm a MOTHER of a 16 YR old!
I'm soooo proud of this handsome and mature young man

if only i could brag about him in photo's

he does NOT like to explore and

unfortunately he hates photos and so

all i ever get is THE HAND.

the last few years these are all i'm able to capture!

its all good...i got a PEEK of him in this one!!

despite their differences

I AM A BLESSED MAMA!!

I may JUST EXPLODE in happiness!!

2011-03-14T01:26:00.004-04:00

I'm so excited at what LOVE has brought me this year and this song sums it all UP!

I THINK I MAY EXPLODE with JOY!!

so much LAUGHTER!
so much GRACE!
MY ARMS ARE WIDE OPEN!!
with a whole NEW definition of LOVE!
and it all came exploding through {the pain}
TRUTH WINS!!

I'M SPEECHLESS, really.

your a block head charlie brown!!

2011-01-03T11:00:00.002-05:00

I have a woody.

yep a woody.

a woody obsession.

its like new again,

they make me hard...haha

cause i get to use the table saw!

I recently was visiting my dad

and my favorite thing about being there
is his shop~
filled with everysort of tool and screw...
an {assemblage artists} dream!!!

so its wood blocks and the table saw
that has kept me occupied....

here is one of them

i have a whole series...

i'm in a new location for a week,,,,

the beautiful SUNNNNNY Florida,
oh how i've missed your sunshine!!!

Where I've been in pictures

2010-12-29T02:17:00.008-05:00

A question I get alot: Where are you now?

Here's a peek in pictures of the places I've been through...and then the answer to that question.

Hawaii-

and now from one extreme to another...here is where i spent my Christmas LONGING for the sunshine:

enjoying the pale and grey in Kentucky on 28 acres of beautiful snow covered hills....and in just a few days I'll be back in the Sunshine!!

hmmm WHERE do you think I'm going next???
CAN YOU GUESS??

and THE BEST PART..iTS all on FAITH!!

i GAVE alot up to do this,
i take alot of risks,
while other times i just sit and WAIT..sometimes impatiently,
not mention eat alot of beans {which i really love}
and its WORTH it all!!

The people, The places, The experience.
I am so thankful!

Merry Christmas, Thank you God for the beautiful journey.

2010-12-24T05:25:00.002-05:00

thank you God for the beautiful journey.
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

Thank you, Lord..I love Co-Creating with you.
Your beauty inspires me,
your humor keeps me JOYFUL...
Thank You for beauty for ashes.
Your LOVE continues to amaze me!!!
Thank You for your Freedom!!
You take my breath away.

Its ALL ABOUT YOU.

Remember this?

2010-11-27T19:00:00.010-05:00

CHECK OUT THIS PHOTO of me!!

18 years ago I did this crazy thing...I worked several jobs, saved all my cash, sold my car and left my small rural hometown and went on an adventure {to change the world}! Little did i know it would change me FIRST! (Sounds familiar yeah?? LOL)

Where did I head of to do this-the FURTHEST place from home I could find? No,not Tinbuckto, although I DO wanna go there someday too! It started when met this guy who traveled all around the world doing good things to help others, all because he loved Jesus. Oh man this caught my attention, cause I wanted to be in missions, but I didn't want to attend 4 yrs of college to do it! So he shared about this organization called Youth With A Mission whose mission statement just LIT it up for me..to Know God and to Make Him Known! Now this might sound soso to you, but let me tell you, I was this MESSED up girl who had this ENCOUNTER with the most BEAUTIFUL and Majestic being that completely changed my life by LOVE alone.

YES, by simply LOVING me,
with all my messed up-ness!
Yeh I just made that a word!
I agree it might sound akward and wonky, but lets just say I had a whole lotta issues and some were NOT so pretty!! BUT This God, totally rearranged my heart and life, set this FIRE in me...becuase if He could be this liberating for me, He would do it for anyone!!

AND HE DOES!!

So HERE I am sooo many years later still consumed with the FIRE of Love, that I makes me just wanna LOVE BOMB. (THANKS CATINA love that phrase!!!) BUT it works, it really does, to love someone who is unloveable, to reach out to someone who rejects you over and over because they don't know the truth of love, to help hurting people, to touch others through kindness and JOY, it is the most challenging and yet worthwhile thing to do!! ALL BECAUSE I encountered TRUE LOVE, someone who seen me in a whole different way and believed in me, when NO ONE else did! WOW!

Answer the Call... YWAM DTS Kona from YWAM Kona on Vimeo.

ANYHOW this relates to where I am now,,,I wouldn't be the person I am today if it were not for how God used YWAM....and so 18years later I'm going back to the place where it all started for me...Kona,HAWAII. Its like a HOT DATE with God. I'm SOOOO excited to go back to the place where He forever changed me and to sit on the beach with HIM, the greatest ARTIST and watch his materpiece, as the sunrises and sets! I get to remember and yet go forward into the NEW. So much is gonna come out of this and I CANT WAIT. I'll be sharing more personally through my art journals, as soon as I get them all scanned in.

I'm about to board the plane and DO IT AGAIN, where it all began! I think my heart just may explode! Oh the places He takes me, and doing it all on FAITH!! One step at a time baby!

here's to the NEW!!!

Art Raffle & What I've been up to!

2010-11-19T13:28:00.006-05:00

Taking a quick break to share a bit of what I've been up to-lots of good stuff going on!

On Oct 30th my baby turned 12! So hard to believe~although he's been trying to be a teenager for years! isn't he so handsome {just like his dad!}?? i just love his freckles!

We hosted and worked a luau/festival all day on his birthday for a community-so we worked ALL day long...talk about WORE out-we were so wore out we forgot the next day was Halloween and my boys remembered around 9 p.m. and was like lets go around! Um it didn't happen! We enjoyed a great family day though...and God did something SO amazing that day that I can't wait to share more in detail sooooon!!

I would go into detail now but I'm getting ready for the Art Flea tomorrow-and if I get started I'll spend all day here.

We just came back from a week of visiting my grandparents in Illinois. We haven't seen them in years and it was so sweet to spend time with them! My grandma had a stroke over a year ago and has come through some really hard stuff physically...I loved having dinner with them and probably my favorite thing

about my grandma is quite odd and yet simple-

but it's her CLOTHESLINE...lots of memories and maybe the fact that she isn't able to use it herself anymore.

NOW I'm working towards getting myself to Hawaii for this event

the 50th at YWAM Kona - Nov. 29 to Dec. 4th 2010 from YWAM Kona on Vimeo.

with my team who is performing (more on that too later since I haven't shared much on that here-it crosses into the cool God thing I will be sharing-so yeah!!!). We are a team of ARTISTS called Warriors Come Home under YWAM. The short story is we use the ARTS in to influence our community. We've been working alongside First Nation and Native Peoples in the midwest...just SO much to share I just can't sum it up easily! Anyhow the last time I was in Hawaii was 18 years ago with YWAM...so it is such a SWEET GOD THING that the timing of going now is exaclty the same...I'm not as excited to go to Hawaii so much, but more so to go be with GOD-I know some MORE awesome stuff is about to BREAK!!

To help myself get there I'm hosting an ART RAFFLE for the painting below...$5 donation gets ya in the drawing---if you look to the side bar near the top of my blog you'll see a PAYPAL donate tab use it to enter as much as you want or it is on my etsy too along with some newer art stuff. I'll be drawing live from HAWAII on Nov 30th! I haven't bought my ticket yet-totally living on FAITH here! I love to watch God do his thing!

OK I better get busy NOW getting ready for the Art Flea tomorrow in downtown KC...so if you live in the area come on down and say HEY and check out some great artisians sharing their handmade goods! everything is affordable from $1 to $50! come check out what to get for Christmas/Hanukkah presents or a treat for yourself!

what i love about fall

2010-11-04T17:10:00.002-04:00

what i love about fall
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

Its so nice to be in a place that I get to see the seasons change. I loved living in Florida, but have to say this is my favorite season and glad I am here now to enjoy the intoxicating colors as they contrast the sky.

Come Scratch the ITCH!

2010-10-15T03:43:00.002-04:00

If your in Kansas City, come check out the Art Flea! Lots of fun things going on there! You'll get plenty of eye candy and hopefully SOME to take home too!!! Me, the gothies, and LOTSA new creations will be there tooooo!

HOPE TO SEE YA THERE!

art on etsy

2010-09-15T20:22:00.001-04:00

art
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

im slowly filling up my shop again...i have quite a few venues/festivals i'm selling at so kicking myself in high gear to get myself all together! i have alot of FUN new stuffs to post!

its been a gorgeous RAINY day today! I'm SO INSPIRED!! LOVE it...all my have to's are done for the day (yes i know technically its evening LOL) SO now its back to the studio!!! My plan, well my hope is to post photo's tomorrow.

I do have to decorate for a parade our team is performing in this Sat...so I NEED to get the art out of my head so I can focus!! lol

Crocheted Smart Car

2010-09-13T21:25:00.005-04:00

Crocheted Smart Car
Originally uploaded by StartTheDay

The boys and I were surfing this inspiring recycled art site...i tried to pick out favorites but couldn't realllly decide which ones cuz there are so many inspiring stuffs! The guys picked out the crocodiles
and
i do love this unique car! and this AMAZING vinyl sculpture and then there is this very cool bookcase made of tables and then the ORGAN chairs/bed....see I could keep going there is SO much FUNKY stuff there!

This month has been super busy going to soooo many FUN FESTIVALS all over and connecting downtown in the Art District-there is SO much developing and going on I can't keep up with myself! I have lots of NEW ART and journeys to share-I hope to get all my photo's uploaded and share it all soon!

cherokee nation

2010-09-02T12:40:00.005-04:00

cherokee nation
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

Been in and out of Cherokee Nation over the last few months. Am pretty amazed at the favor of God's connections. I know I shouldn't be amazed because it is after all God! LOL I think I more so amazed at the places and peoples he puts _me_ in the midst of..the great things I get to be apart of!! I am so humbled. Thank You Creator!

Little inspirations

2010-08-13T02:02:00.007-04:00

Gotta love an artist who takes the ordinary and does amazing things with it....the heart one is my favorite, but the alphabets WOW me because of the the patience factor and detail!! The cool things is, he only makes them as gifts and not for sale. Check out more here about Dalton Ghetti sculptures.

funny!!

2010-08-10T00:03:00.001-04:00

≈ Stranded Due To Bad Taste In Men ≈
Originally uploaded by Jennifer Esperanza {Mahita}

a true hitchhiker story! every one has a story. i'd seriously like to know hers.

Looove this doll. Im inspired now to make some littles.

2010-07-19T02:46:00.001-04:00

Looove this doll. Im inspired now to make some littles.
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

found this cute doll at world market.
me thinks its time to make some dolls!!

NOT FOR SALE

2010-07-16T02:11:00.004-04:00

somedays i get caught ALL up in myself

the beauty of art, of exploring, of loving and living LIFE to the fullest

there really is SO MUCH GOOD

i laugh, oh Lord I LOVE to laugh and be silly!!

yet there is an ache that i carry,

and i don't want to EVER forget that not everybody knows freedom

and beauty of that freedom can be despite their circumstances....

so you will find me connecting, working,donating,watching, listening, praying

to that often heavy reminding ache

to those that are forgotten,

to those who hurt d e e p with their smile on....

and those who are caught in SLAVERY

yes, its so true that it still exists!!

it wont go away until we get involved!

if you don't have finances to donate thats fine

BUT imagine your TIME and a PRAYER

IMPACTING LIVES,

here's a few places that i personally know

and see WORK and PRAY hard

and MAKING A DIFFERENCE!!

WE ARE NOT FOR SALE.

LORD, you hear their cry,

I hear their cry,

YOU come to heal the brokenhearted...

Lead us, Lead me,

to those who are broken

and END slavery one life at a time.

I've watched you CHANGE lives,

including mine,

enable me, enable others

to move into action

to walk the streets,

to commit to your cause,

to take the time to pray,

to make art to donate,

to use what they have to make a difference

to bring awareness,

AND the END of modern day slavery!!

We take no glory , but give it TO YOU.

YOU EMPOWER US!!

YOU SET THE CAPTIVES FREE!

What do you know?

2010-07-13T00:42:00.001-04:00

What do you know?
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

dreads be good, life be good!!

2010-07-02T21:39:00.002-04:00

dreads be good
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

can't quite splain it
my happiness....
yet its deep
and REAL
life is so beautifully
............AMAZING...
i thought i had a good life
enjoyed life to the fullest
yet this is mind blowing....
i can only thank you,
LORD!

He _is_ Freedom.

Family Gathering

2010-06-25T02:42:00.009-04:00

Family....
So much laughter!!!
and mannnny late nights.
Even the tears, they are beautiful with you...
Thank you for your love!

Dumb questions, can EMPOWER your life!

2010-06-08T12:11:00.004-04:00

Have you ever asked a stupid question? I admit that was probably one itself, haha but seriously continue. Quite possibly you asked it out of truly not knowing and curiosity. You were looking for the answer, right? I was reading about some guys who asked this complicated question, and as I'm reading it, I'm thinking this is a dumb question,!! Of all the questions to ask somebody important, why did they ask this one? The answer that was given though brought me to full attention!

Yeshua said "Isn't this the reason you go astray? You are both ignorant of the Tanakh (scriptures) and the POWER OF GOD?" MARK 12:24

Yeah Jesus just called 'em stupid. Alright he didn't really, but uh yeah he did. At first, it made me laugh, and go THIS is why i LOVE this guy!! He cuts right to the chase and recognizes that even our dumb questions are powerful! Then after my giggle, I hear what he's saying, through the reply of his own questions. THIS is it, this is why we quite often DON'T get it. We lack the understanding of the WORD of God, which is POWERFUL!

Are you lacking in power? No I'm not talking about the power of your career, money, relationships, stuff, etc. maybe you already have that, are searching for it or on your way to it. Although there is nothing wrong with those things if they are not your god, they do have purpose and temporary satisfaction, however I'm referring to the REAL and EFFECTIVE POWER that will change and define your life so you'll NEVER be the same. Its guaranteed to change all those things above because you'll see things a whole new way. It is simply the WORD of God. If you are looking, needing or lacking power in your life. Pick up a bible. It REALLY has power. Its not that lame, wimpy, judgmental, holier than thou religious knock off bible thumping pile of dung that some have misrepresented it to be. Its an empowering, accepting, liberating, XTREMELY radical lifestyle living in relationship with the funniest, most CREATIVE being EVER!!!

I'm ever inspired by the Word. Its poetically and literally the greatest love story ever, it has better advice than my best friend, is actually more faithful than any friend,family or spouse, it paints the most beautiful and even eyebrow raising pictures, it makes fun of hypocrites and know it alls, its full of FIGHTIN words and its packed full of DRAMA, um have you heard about the guy who was living with is step-mama?? And yes it is holy too. I read it and say HOLY COW, why did I take so long to realize how powerful it is!!

Note: I may continue to ask dumb questions.

its all about the cross!

2010-05-28T03:39:00.001-04:00

its all about the cross!
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

something so ordinary and yet so beautiful.

Power of words

2010-05-07T12:18:00.005-04:00

Have you ever encountered a person who really challenges your thinking? One who stirs up something unknown in you. I'm talking about a word that instantly quickens you. It doesn't have to be good, it can be a negative stirring as well. I can give quite a few examples of people that have said something out of their anger or negativity that just pushed me. By that I don't mean defending myself or being pissed off. I mean walking away from it completely fired up and using it to rise to a new level in understanding, either about myself or that person. There is opportunity in everything we encounter.

I was reading an article earlier and these words

J U M P
E
D

off the page.

"When God speaks it is an EVENT which sets history in motion." Reinhard Bonnke

Those words snapped me to attention. I don't take God's words lightly. Now I'm not refering to the written Word, I'm talking about something more personal and involved. I talking about a response specifically designed for me. Words are creative acts. God's word is a creative ACT! It MOVES. Its a VERB! That gets me EXCITED!!! What He has spoken to me is MOVING. Its coming!!

What has God spoken to you, that is about to MOVE?

New Artwork

2010-05-03T23:11:00.001-04:00

.
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

The blues are a little off colorwise, but this is a new piece. I have quite a few other new ones you can peek at if you click on her.

Beauty ARISE!

2010-04-21T23:18:00.004-04:00

All I held was ashes....
blowing in the wind.
YAH (God) said I'll take those ashes

BEAUTY ARISE!

The truth is that some losses are for your personal good.

The beauty that has become from the ashes....
Breathtaking.
Because what Yah brings, radiates unfathomable beauty.
THANK YOU Lord for every intimate moment in your presence!!
You amaze me.

I'm NOT LETTING GO!

2010-04-20T15:14:00.003-04:00

and sometimes its good to NOT LET GO!

oh no I want to let go of my SELF, the frustration, anger, any seed of bitterness, immaturity

BUT. I. WILL. NOT. LET. GO. OF. THE. PROMISES!!

STOP cursing your crisis!
YOUR chaos
YOUR challenges
WELCOME THEM!
Yes I said that-
oh I know you will not like that
cause I SURE don't!!
It really isn't my idea either. LOL
I don't think I'd quite do it this way,
so its a GOOD THING I'm not in charge
cause ITS WORTH it,
YES your crisis can have WORTH!
If you can relate to me,
then your probably thinking wellllll
not this ONE THING (you can insert your sitiuation here),
_THIS_ its horrible,
its disgusting, its heartbreaking, its absolutely of NO WORTH
I can't believe I have to walk through this
or maybe you haven't even walked through it yet
your still crawling, or maybe your even STUCK
or you just don't have the strength to even lift your head
let alone pick up your feet
I'VE BEEN THERE TOO,
and recently! so i KNOW its not easy
but if you understand a few things

You ARE NOT ALONE (even though it may feel like it and you can look around and say it LOOKS like it too)
GOD (YAH) DOES NOT PUNISH YOU.
HE IS NOT PUNISHING YOU WITH YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES.
HE DID NOT CAUSE THEM EITHER.
THERE IS A WAY THROUGH, not a way OUT
and......
if YOU allow
yes YOU are the keyholder
NO MATTER the circumstance
i mean NO MATTER the circumstance
yes even THAT
if YOU allow
your inner (wo)man,
take the key and unlock it-
and embrace that THING,
yes RUN right smack INTO IT
the PAIN
the demand
the loss
the circumstance
face the FEAR
be completely broken,
yep it requires complete brokenness
(i know i didn't want to go THERE!)
it requires vulenarbility
it requires humbleness
it requires letting GO of self
over and over again,
uh huh that self thing is hard
to let go of
but once you DO
A M A Z I N G
and it asks you to
SEEK God (Yah),
and accept deliverance (Yeshua).

Yeah, those last two might be hard
really hard
especially if you don't know the
TRUE beauty of them.

When you encounter and i mean
TRUELY encounter
each of them,
you will NEVER
ever
EVER
BE THE SAME.

AND YOU SHALL NOT BE MOVED!

NEVER LET GO OF A PROMISE
no matter what it costs you
please take what wisdom my experiences
have taught me
and let them encourage
and empower you
just as it has me.
YOU WILL NOT BE MOVED.

be a prisoner of hope

2010-04-10T02:45:00.001-04:00

Redeeming Love

2010-03-31T00:28:00.004-04:00

In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself in a dark wood. Dante

A few days ago I devoured an almost 500 page novel. From the first few pages it captivated my attention. If your an avid fictional reading this may be your norm, unfortunately I am not. I also don't read romantic period literature much, so when I picked up the book I was hesitant. I really didn't think it would captivate me like it did. Interestingly I found myself wrapped up in curiosity. I tried several times to walk away from the book, but I was so drawn that I only took bathroom breaks! Now the storyline is one I'm familiar with, you may be too if you've ever read the book of Hosea. I actually have questioned quite often, could I ever do such a task as what was asked of Hosea? My answer always has been I don't think so, at least not without the Truth of Love....and now through my own circumstances I have come to understand the enduring strength, that Love asks of us. It does not quit, and it does NOT fail, EVER. The rewards are so worth it. If anything can redeem, it is only Love in the purest form. Beware though, it will ask you to give up yourself. Although what you exchange it for,will be an overwhelming faithful Love that you can not compare to anything this side of heaven.

Following the sky

2010-03-08T14:47:00.004-05:00

A new city.
its called Kansas.
This road has lead me to JOY!!
complete utter transformation
and a FREEDOM that is
invigorating!!

Finding the lines of the sky
and following it.

bayou chicot, LA

2010-02-26T00:34:00.001-05:00

My sweet art pal that I've been staying with took some cool photos of us.

WOW, inspiration from within!

2010-02-23T13:18:00.005-05:00

I had not realized its been so long since I've posted here. As I came to post the photo here below, I reread my November post. WOW-what inspiring words! Obviously inspired by the Divine and not my own! LOL Well now, so much has happened in the last few months that I don't even know where to begin...besides the fact that we now LIVE on the road,i guess I'll just link you to the where I am now. I have so much to catch ya'll up on, but oh so little time to sit here.

I'm currently in central Louisiana, with the most beautiful art girl and yesterday we took a trip down in the swamplands and to visit her mother in law, who btw just happened to be the cutest southern mama. We took a walk outside her home and just before I hit the door, I was already inspired by her moon and sun windchime which I quickly snapped a photo of as it became my new wallpaper for my phone. From there I ran into some beautiful red fallen flowers admist the surrounding dreary brown grass and grey day....one went in the side of my hair and the rest is in pictures. WARNING You'll may be seeing flowers for a little bit.

Now off to get creative in Carla's studio!

2009-11-11T13:47:00.003-05:00

All you are, experience and ultimately achieve can be traced back to how you have made use of these two simple yet vastly powerful tools-your words and your thoughts. -Dr. Cindy Trimm

WORDS ARE POWERFUL. What begins in your mind most often becomes you. Over the past year I have endure great hardship and loss. So many times my thoughts were filled with questions. Many went unanswered. There were moments I did not have the strength to get out of bed, yet I had to!! I did not give up, despite times of weariness! I kept fighting back with my words, with Divine Words. The Creator spoke into the unformed void darkness the existence of LIGHT! Do you get that, it was unformed, a VOID darkness! It began with a void! Do you have a void in your life right now? I know I have been facing this VOID for over a year now. I have been speaking to it! I questioned hey VOID are YOU LISTENING~I'm COMING OUT AlIVE! YES I'm speaking to you DARKNESS- to all the lies I've been told, to all the lies told about me, to all the doubts, to all the doubters! The silence that I've been captured in is NO MORE! I have authority with the TRUTH. Not a version of the truth, but the fullness of TRUTH. i AM A CREATED being created in the image of the

אלהים

ELOHIYM.
That means I have the power to speak things like he does!

. Yes we each have that very same authority given by the Creator to us! You must understand the power of the spoken word, YOUR spoken words!

What occupy's your mind determines what eventually fills your mouth, your outer world showcases all that has dominated, and at times subjugated your inner world. -Dr. Cindy Trimm

I recently heard Dr. Trimm speak on her book Command your Morning. If you follow that link you can read the first chapter. It has some good stuff there! I haven't read the whole book, but listening to her speak encouraged me, so I imagine her written word would as well!

I have been writing and creating in the midst of my chaos. Not just one chaos, a host of chaos. Some of it still raging. Despite it all, I have and will continue to walk THROUGH the valley of deep darkness into MY LIGHT. I found at times, my spirit was silent in great expectation, and often very still in my Maker's presence. He is the greatest inspiration! I can't wait to share more with you!

If you are in the midst of a VOID. HOLD ON and SPEAK to your darkness! If you can't find the strength to speak, reach out to someone who can be your voice, till your strong enough on your own! OR USE THESE the CREATORS WORDS to get you started!

"LET THERE BE LIGHT!!"

Let me be a seal upon your heart

2009-10-22T12:28:00.003-04:00

Often things, or relationships must die, in order for them to experience resurrection. Each of us are beautifully flawed. We all encounter struggles. No one is exempt. We have moments of the realization that despite giving all, it was simply not enough. Many people want to hide the rawness, the brokeness, pain and sorrow. Yes there are often a time this is best. There are also too many times the darkness must be exposed, so the light can destroy that which was hidden. If darkness is allowed to remain silent it has no purpose. When one isolates themselves into darkness they are allowing it to stay. Maybe not consciously, but it is permission granted none the less. We are not alone, sorrow, pain and neglect are not subject to a certain class. We all must pass through this on some level.

I feel lead to share my struggles simply because I know I am not alone. I know there are many others who are or have been where I am. Ache and loss is great. However they are not greater than the Divine. I want you see that I've gathered all my broken pieces, instead of sweeping them under and away, I'm going to lay them out. Why? Because when I brought them to my Rescuer and laid them down at his feet. He motioned for me to pick them up one by one. The first piece was jagged and sharp, it left cuts on my hands as I put it in His. What I saw as He closed His palm and what what revealed at the relase of His grip, made my eyes WIDE with delight at the revelation. When he released it to me, and entered it into my being, I gasped and staggered at the strength that filled my core. His powerfully Majestic voice echoed through out me. "Do not replace a promise for a lie"

Let me be a seal upon your heart,

Like the seal upon your hand

For love is fierce as death

Passion is mighty as Sheol

Its darts are darts of fire,

A blazing flame

Vast floods cannot quench love

Nor river drown it

If a man offered all his wealth for love

He would be laughed to scorn.

the songs 8: 6-7

Let me be a seal upon your heart.

sharing.love.this.because.i

2009-10-18T21:08:00.005-04:00

fall. love.favorite
orange, black, and kitty!!!
its my new wallpaper

i want to live in a patchwork house!

2009-10-17T18:44:00.001-04:00

my little home
Originally uploaded by eanie meany

i'm totally jealous!

W.O.W moment

2009-10-15T17:57:00.002-04:00

We are responsible for the stories we tell and for those we choose not tell. Our silences speak volumes about whom and what we value. - Rabbi Sandy Eiseenberg Sasso

Most often I choose silence in respect of differences. Quite often this gives the wrong impression. It can say, I agree with you, your opinion has more value or truth, I'm absorbing what you said, I am weak, well you get the idea. In the area of my life that this currently applies to, its none of the above. Timing is important. It is not weakness, it actually takes a DIVINE strength to keep my mouth shut! The most incredible part is, when you are released from silence, it has this poetic revival of solace that dances amongst the rain. There is absolutely no force that can withhold the inextinguishable rejoicing!!

Tsunami: Finding Friends and Family

2009-10-05T00:12:00.003-04:00

Tsunami: Finding Friends and Family
Originally uploaded by See Reev

Thanks to a wonderful Peace Corp volunteer, Sara, you can see a few photo's of my husbands village (click photo) .

Sara and some others kindly went out searching for families. She attempted to find my sister and her 8 children but wasn't able to as my sister had gone way up into the bush (or the forest) out of fear. She's about an hour-n-half walk from the main road that passes through the village. The volunteers did attempt to go up but after seeing people on their way up, they realized it was too far and soon ran into our cousin Tavita and passed on info that we were trying to contact them and even gave them a phonecard!

Compared to photo's of a well known village and beach resort about 20 minutes away this looks amazingly good! This one below absolutely amazes me, you'll notice the ground is completely gouged and the coconut trees are standing by their roots only!!!

This photo is taken by Bryan Russel of Raw Shakti Yoga. They have gone out before international aide arrived to those who had not been helped. Thank you, thank you for helping the unseen! You can see their daily video's if you follow the you tube video below.

We fortunately got to speak to my sister around 4:30 a.m Saturday for over and hour!! It was the best phone call as she even laughed quite abit and all I could do was smile too knowing she could find her laughter in such tragedy!

She's most likely staying in tents like this

(photo by Bryan Russell)

She did however say she is NOT coming back down to what once was her home (although there is nothing left she says anyhow, they lived seaside). We are planning to go to Samoa asap and that lifted her spirits, she said when we come she may go down with us and thats it. We are hoping to be able to build a new house for her, inland of course, we are planning to stay too. It only takes a moment to realize your too far away and life is too short to be apart any longer, it was an quick and easy decision.

She lives about 10 minutes from where (the first photograph by Sara) was taken in Saleaaumua. That photograph happens to be the home of a family who lost their mum. Apparently she thought it was safe after the first wave to return, so she was going back for this van (behind the tree) and her purse. She happened to own a store, so wanted to go back for her money. Unfortunately she did not know there was more waves coming in and lost her life. We are so sorry for her family, our family. (Everyone who lives in the village are related) The head of meteorology stated the first wave came in a 7:20 and the second more destructive one at 7:30.

We also lost several aunties and cousins in our village. We seen their names officially listed on the pacificeyewitness.com They had a burial for all, together. Funerals in Samoan culture is an extraordinary communal experience all itself with formal traditions and ceremonies that are not ever taken lightly. To have to have them all as one is not so respectful. Not forgetting that it is also well celebrated by food and considering the circumstances and current lack of the ability to fish, it is in no way normal. They also bury their dead in their yard, usually you will see a well decorated grave marking passing by. I read online that the government will be making a memorial graveyard in the city (Apia). This is also highly unusual for Samoan's to release their dead to others. My sister said the stench of decay was terrible and she was perturbed that some went back down with their children, to stay.

My sisters (brother-in-law) lost his wife and four children to the ocean. My heart completely aches for him.

when love speaks

2009-09-30T22:13:00.007-04:00

If you've been reading my blog for awhile you may know my husband is from the beautiful Pacific Islands of Samoa. His family resides on the breathtaking SouthEastern coast of Upolu in the district of Aleipata. If you step out the back door of their fale, within feet you'll be in water.

Yesterday a tsunami struck the beautiful people of Samoa. A distraught phone call from our niece living stateside informed us that her mother had run screaming first alerting the village and then frantically running for her life toward the school where her children were on their way. Her oldest son was already off in the distance working the land. The whole village ran toward the mountain for higher ground. This occurred @ 6:30 a.m. We were driving to a birthday dinner with friends when we received the phone call. I could tell by the drop in my husband's face right after he said hello that there was disturbing news.

I tried desperately to help my husband curb his fears by stating it was good news that he at least knew she was alive. I asked about her children. She currently has 7 living with her from ages 24-6. Her husband had recently passed away. He responded with one of them is missing, he's in another village (Lalomanu) with her husbands family. His niece stated that during the phone call all her mom could do was sob in concern for him and then they lost connection.

After many failed attempts to contact her ourselves, we tried to talk ourselves into not panicking. Ok i tried, my husband was too overwhelmed. I kept finding positives. At least we had some contact with her, the kids are alive!! I could tell he was absorbed with knowing they had no warning, imagining the fear and panic, the aftermath, its was all too much.

We had no idea at the time of any details of the quake and its aftermath. I watched my husband for the next few hours break the phone circuits at lighting speed, alerting all our local samoan friends and family, trying to find out more info.

My husband was emotionally exhausted from not knowing, and he eventually went to bed around 1 a.m. I knew he would not really sleep without talking to her.

I walked quietly into our bedroom knowing he was still awake despite his eyes closed, so I sat on the bed dialing her number over and over, praying desperately. I didn't get a circuit busy recording! After about 4 tries of calling and absolutely no ringing, just silence...I found hope in that I wasn't getting a recording. As I dialed one last time - she answered!!! I smacked my husband fully awake and said TALK in fear the connection wouldn't last! As soon as he said her name she began speed talking, I could hear but not make out what she was saying she was talking so fast! After they talked for a few minutes, and lots of one syllable reactions from my husband, and even several different moments of him yelling her name to get her to stop her obsessive speed talking, so he could ask questions, I could tell he was about to lose it. He began to sob uncontrollably. I could hear her say please don't cry, its going to make it even harder for me. Since I could hear her talking and he couldn't over his own sobbing I kept trying to get him to calm down so he could actually talk to her about the others, knowing the phone call could end at any moment. He later told me he was trying to get his older nephew, (in his 20's) to talk to him, and he wouldn't or he couldn't speak because he was in tears. He said he could hear the other kids saying, uncle please come!! He felt completely powerless.

His nephew had just returned from going back to the house to try to gather some things. Apparently they couldn't get close because the water was still covering everything, and the house was completely gone. Elisa (his sister) gave him an account of who was known to be dead, and those still missing. Because of some of his family still not knowing who and what, I won't be sharing any details out of respect. She did say they had word that her son was ok even tho he was in Lalomanu (which we have seen absolutely devastating photos of complete destruction). She said that there were bodies still being discovered as they were covered in the sand and water. She stated that many of them had ran in all sorts of directions toward the mountain, and they were presently sleeping in the bush. She also said, a few had turned around to go back for their personals and lost their lives. I'm guessing this was after the first wave.

Their whole village has been destroyed.

its worth the risk!

2009-09-25T13:15:00.004-04:00

I have been on a road that has been uncomfortable for quite awhile. Although I'm not uncomfortable in the spiritual sense. In the spiritual realm I'm dwelling in the peaceful shelter of My Refuge, despite the chaos surrounding me. Does this make sense?

I was reading over at Essential Prose and came across the post with the question above. I have had this knowing in my spirit that my familiar has long gone, and it isn't planning on returning. Even though I do like to take great risks and I don't bow to fear in the negative, I have come to this GRAND canyon. A vast empty and deep space that is so much bigger than me. I'm standing at the edge, agreeing this is remarkably unfamiliar now, knowing that I must not settle for comfortable any longer, and still yet I hesitate. There are times when I long to go back to the comfortable, even though I know there is no true security in it. As I stand here before the canyon, observing the enormous expanse, my natural eye is overwhelmed. There is a hovering silence of the unknown. My breathing echoes in my ears. Sometimes it is louder than I can bear and it hurts my head. I've leapt over previous familiars though compared to this monster, they were obviously only cracks. There is NO way that I can leap over this one.

Now this is where I wish I could translate my spiritual state to the natural! I have approached moments recently where my natural being starts screaming, pounding and stomping !!ENOUGH!!, and I momentarily lose focus. My natural says don't fall into the expanse!! My spiritual says, you must go in the depths to get across. CONFLICT! The warfare ensues! I find myself tangled in the beauty of being the created.

I am a piece of the Master Creator, therefore I also find comfort in knowing that I am only the created. I do not need to be in control, despite my survival demanding it. If I look at it through the Creators eyes I see most often my "uncomfortable" is a brush stroke that He simply has not completed.

If you are an artist, you will relate to this. You start a piece and are totally consumed by it, flowing freely and THEN suddenly by outside interference you lose your vision. Do you stop here? Can you come back to it? Do you just move on? What if you try to go back to where you stopped and yet you can't seem to pick up where you left off? Do you accept that you can go no further? Do you shut the world out and demand that you be left alone to pursue your vision? What do you do? What do you do when the limits of being the created, pursue you? Do you stand at the expanse and let it overwhelm you? Or will you allow the Creator the freedom to use your life, completing you, the whole work in His own time? I am so content in that His creativity does not have the limits that mine does. The expanse is part of His creation too. It defies logic. It defies reason. It does however have purpose.

So as I stand, looking out at the expanse searching, one thing I know for sure is that I can't go back. I have to leave what is familiar behind so I can move beyond my comfort, even if I must go down in the depths. Yes, I must brave into the deep unknown. I can't remain standing here much longer, its time to take the next step. He awaits patiently.

I know I'm not alone. He is omnipresent. His name unspeakable. He is even greater than the expanse before me. His omnipotence defies my limits, of this I am confident. The Creator speaks loudly by His creation before me; "It is undiscovered and unknown to you, yet the view is breathtaking. Come let me show you, its all worth the risk. Trust me. "

And so here I begin preparing for the unknown.

I'll share my journey with you in more detail

as it begins to disentangle.

everyone needs a tiki!!

2009-09-17T12:58:00.002-04:00

One look at this guy makes me mirror his smile!! Makes ya just wanna shake your hips yah?

Give love to a tiki today! Or better yet create one! If your not the creative type then just have a look round here, you'll surely be inspired!

Needtobreathe

2009-09-12T12:10:00.001-04:00

We are the Outsiders.

encouragement

2009-08-30T14:30:00.003-04:00

as i was reading this morning these words strengthened me.

God is my shield,

saving those whose hearts are true and right.

there are people who think up evil

and plan trouble

and tell lies

they dig a hole to trap others

but they will fall into it themselves

they will get themselves into trouble

the violence they cause will hurt only themselves.

i praise the lord because He does what is right.

I sing praises to the Lord Most High

-psalm 7:10, 14-17

isn't that powerful and encouraging!!

God just keeps me in awe of His beauty!

i know some of you may not understand or know the situation at hand

and it may be even more difficult to not get caught up in gossip

yet if you are even somewhat aware or if you really know me

you must realize

i will not respond to hatred with hatred, nor gossip with gossip,

or fear and intimidation the same.

these characteristics are not what i aspire too.

i have nothing to hide-

the truth is what it is

i will respond only in trusting My Shield

--- to reveal the truth at the right time, and for the right reasons.

the Healer, He walks with ME through fire

2009-08-28T10:56:00.005-04:00

i have endured ENOUGH judgemental religion

for a lifetime

and i'm realllllllly sick of others wanting me to fit

their "specs"

i find it extremely sad that there are those

whose acceptance is conditional on what THEY approve!!

well YOU've MESSED with the wrong gal darlin!

I KNOW WHO i am

and i am NOT ashamed!

i am a creation of the CREATOR

who gives someone the authority

to condemn HIS creation?

those who want to judge

may not want to mess with

HIS JUSTICE.

If you've endured such religious bull

I want you to know that the Messiah

is NOT a condemner!

You are so incredibly important to God

so much so that He came to be your Healer!

He came not for the majority, but for the one

that might be on the outside.

He came for you, He came for me.

Just as you are.

PLEASE DONT allow someone to bully you into isolation

or into believing that you must perform,look or be like "X"

to be accepted or good enough for God

this is a "HUMAN" flaw

it IS NOT a requirement of

the Annointed One,

Jesus, the Messiah

of this i am without a doubt!!

He walks with ME through FIRE

He'll do it for you too.

sit still now!

2009-07-24T01:25:00.004-04:00

this poor pitiful Gothiemon looks really p' o'd! yeah it really didn't like its picture taken so much so it put my card reader in my dirty pants pocket and then washed and ruined it. err ok maybe that was me, but he's still pissed off and i had to remember to go get a new card reader and darn that is just tooo hard when i really just want to stay home and sew!!

thats my story and i'm stickin to it!

anyhow if you're a buy nothing holiday kind a gal or guy then this mon fits your wallet & creative circuit! or better yet keep 'em for yourself. word to the wise, though he doesn't really do laundry!

so its a giveaway if you haven't already figured that out! leave a comment or ya can email me and i'll draw yer names on sunday evening.

also if you just like to win lots of cool stuff you should also check out etsytrashion.blogspot.com for a mega giveaway!

OR if you're just addicted to _etsy_ and wanna buy stuff the trashion team is having lots of SALES going on! simply search trashion team and you'll come up with some cool eco friendly items at a bargain of a price. MY shop has 20% off the already low prices. i even listed a few new things!

remember the gothieMon's

2009-07-09T03:25:00.002-04:00

i've been cleaning my sewing area.

*faints into fabric piles and awakens with a gothieMon on my head*

yes these little gremlins have been running amuck
and can you believe it they made that horrible mess in there!!?
--i SURE didn't!!!

yes they are that naughty....and therefore i must give one away.

as soon as i lasso that buggah for a photo, he'll be posted here for giveaway.

owls and phones

2009-06-07T19:24:00.002-04:00

i was organizing my old flickr photo's and found a photo of the studio wall with the phone collage i was talking about in my last post. not a great photo of it but you can see

if you look reallll close
its the 5X7 white canvas

also you see these FABULOUS 70's owls i found years ago. they were the inspiration for the wall.
years ago i was sorting and selling a ladies estate that had passed away and she had her lifetime collection of owls. oh man how i wished i could have had them all!

here's my owl wish list!

these fabulous earrings

this awesome shirt

these adorable cuties

this amazing pendant

there are so many cool owl pendants its so hard to pick just one!

and i love these fabrics pouches!

and actually so many cute owl things that i could go on & on!

ok i better stop before my greed overcomes me!

shoot (or hoot!) i'm inspired now...i'm gonna go draw some owls!

love the camera!

2009-05-29T15:19:00.005-04:00

etsy's featured seller is an adorable felt maker!
i love love love
love love
did i say love
her camera &

especially her phone creations!
course i don't have an iphone
so i'd probably use it as wallet!

i'd LOVE to have this orange one!

i have a good collection of old camera & phone photos & books.
and a black & white collage (with a touch of orange)
that i did years ago featuring a vintage phone
and its prolly my favorite. its on my studio wall-hmmmm
ya might be able to see it in a photo i have on my site
of the studio walls. oops nope. i'll have to take a photo
of it sometime. i really need to take better photo's of
the studio anyways. its always messy, more like a fabric store
exploded.

SPEAKING of LOVE, ya gotta LOVE LOVE LOVE the fabulous
redheaded gal, miss Fish. cuz she sent me a HUGE BOX of
creative LOVE.
thank you so much sweet thang it was such a
perfectly timed surprise!!
go read her blog, she's always got something
fun going on!! and a new book out too!

12 years and all i get is this stinkin tattoo!

2009-04-27T02:17:00.004-04:00

april 18th was my 12 year anniversary! this was my present. i wanted it to have a sun, the taulima (samoan design) and to come down on my foot. i had no idea what he was gonna do...once i seen it -i loved it--although at the end i knew it also had to have the eye! its my favorite part! you can see close ups on my flickr....just click the photo.

my dh got a sweeeeeeeet one too, although i haven't uploaded it yet.

and THEN as a bonus i got another one a few days ago cuz the ink was out and no one wanted to sit down! (someone changed their mind)
hey ya don't have to tell me twice!! i grabbed a drawing i'd thought about getting inked and nephi (kerry's nephew) rocked it!

its supa cool when you have a nephew who is a tattoo artist!

i used to be plain.

2009-04-25T18:22:00.004-04:00

i love wearing apron style tops, halters, dresses, flip flops oh my! its one of the perks of living in florida! i've been making my own clothes for years.

i remember in high school, sitting upstairs in my grandmothers sewing room/turned into my room, talking on the rotary dial phone telling a boyfriend i made my own clothes. he was like really, you do a good job! i wish i did -i totally took credit for some store bought stuff!! *snort*

i even took sewing in high school, course i couldn't follow a pattern for the life of me! i still remember the funky (not a good funky) teacher! dang i forget her name, but she had this permanent scowl on her face and not just from looking at what i made! course i really only made a few of them, most of them were altered and had this complete everything had to match insanity going on, even down to the socks! i remember thinking man i wish i could just wear whatever color i wanted and be Free! for some reason i thought i "couldn't" wear the loud colors i wanted. i wanted to blend in instead of stand out, especially in our small town! i really really tried hard to blend in and be plain...or at least my version of plain. thank GOD now i could CARE less and i'm finally FREE of that mentality that i can't be loud!! WHO CARES IF MY CLOTHES SCREAM! THEY MAKE ME HAPPY!

i've been having some fun making dieunika tops. so much so i've started to make some to sell. the girl loves to have her photo taken! i've put some up on my etsy if ya want to have a peek. i pray my gal is FREE to be and wear whatever she wants too, hopefully it will still be the clothes i make! or maybe she'll make her own!

where are you going?

2009-04-13T21:19:00.003-04:00

i couldn't help but wonder where the Hulk was going?

GOOD JOB or aka getting the GOODY!!

2009-04-03T10:40:00.005-04:00

i have caught myself quite often lately saying this to Dieunika. every time i say it, i freeze! dang where is it coming from! she is working through so many emotions, and together we're trying to help her see we love her for who she is, to be herself, to stop being fake and doing "cute" to get approval and attention. i have to be better at my words!!! i have to stop and evaluate and take a good look in the mirror.

how are you with words?
how are you at allowing yourself to be _you_, the real you?

things that remain

2009-03-29T18:02:00.006-04:00

i awoke to the sweet melodies the birds were singing this morning. before my eyes even opened their beautiful music rushed into my ears. i lay silent, eyes closed, listening....breathing all the purity in. creation is truly amazing. the way everything operates and proceeds; the days keep on, the nights follow and the heartbeat of the earth keeps thumping. its all too easy to get caught up in the everyday. as much as i try to be aware and connected in relationship to that which is the most important; quite often i fall short. there isn't enough of me, to do all that i love so i must keep boundaries and balance in order to keep focused. quite often nature forces you into positions you'd rather not be, yet as the sunsets, so it will rise again. it may be dark for a time, yet that does not mean the light does not exist. there is light that breaks the darkness....and when you've been in the dark for awhile there is nothing as refreshing as the light! Thank you, my Creator, for the light!!

the very next day after my last post about my family being mine, and no one being able to steal them from me. the reality of those fighting words came to blows. i watched my sweet and yet feisty grandmother in her frail frame kick death in the teeth. this is the scar, the evidence of the fight.

she had gone down the steep stairs to her basement laundry room to fetch some clothes from the dryer. my handsome choctaw grandfather noticed she had been gone for quite a time, so he had gone to check on her. he found her standing still at the very top, laundry basket in hand, left side of her face drooping. he walked her to a chair, and told her he was calling the ambulance. she slurred, "what for?" he replied "because i don't want you to die." she ended up having a massive blood clot removed from her brain.

my tall, once raven haired grandfather, is a calm and quiet man. i have never heard his voice raised in anger or hatred and he always keeps his emotions in reserve. as we were standing over my grandmothers hospital bed i watched his dark eyes full of deep concern, look at his true love. scared and broken. she had no idea he was there. pausing in that moment; i could not imagine him without her. my heart ached at the thought.

as the sunset and rose again, i saw my grandmother not at her weakest, but at her strongest!! by looking at her small frame, shaven head and still struggling to understand her words, one might think she is weak. yet the words that came out fiercely were this "17 yrs ago i beat cancer, i can beat this too!"

there is no learning with out pain.

The pain passes but the beauty remains.
---- pierre auguste renoir

THANK YOU self righteous and judgmental people

2009-03-16T12:05:00.005-04:00

it has been soooo beautiful here, so we've been enjoying lots of refreshing days at the beach. although today wasn't as sunny, but it was still refreshing!

we've really needed it too as we've been really hammered by all kinds of circumstances trying to steal our joy and our family!! sorry ya just can't have 'em!! i KNOW what belongs to me!

i'm pretty slow to respond to anger yet man mess with my family--> that will motivate me.....like you've never seen!! over muuuuuch time i've become a incredibly patient person. really that is something that is soooooo _not natural_ for me and for those who know me now and have not seen how far i've come from.....really if you knew, you'd be surprised!! my temper used to throttle in about .3 seconds! i've been changed and rearranged- a total different person! thank you JESUS! if i relied on my own strength i'd probably pull some punches....right now mostly because self righteous and judgmental people REALLY REALLY get my panties in a big fat wad!! ....and most always it comes from those who are so "religious" and don't truly know me nor have taken the time to know me!! i'd like to say get to know me, or simply ASK me- i have nothing to hide, nor be ashamed of!! do that BEFORE you judge from the outside! please please though keep telling me what i can't do or what i'm not --->BECAUSE if you only knew it all MAKES ME STRONGER in patience AND helps me grow wise(r)! i keep RUNNING to my Creator with my fists full of crap, gossip and justified anger....and like sand hitting the wind.....from my ashes BEAUTY rises!!

so really i must THANK YOU for that!!

Frida Frida, where's your Frida?

2009-03-12T21:13:00.007-04:00

if ya haven't quite figured it out yet, i love the artist Frida Kahlo.
if you've ever been to my house, that's not hard to figure out! LOL and to all my astonishment there are still some who have NO IDEA who she was!

*gasp*

ok i've recovered now LOL....

and if thats your case then you might not give a hoot that i'm about to list some of my personal favorite Frida assemblages!! it took quite a bit of wrestling to let them go....BUT ya know its for a good cause! our adoption of the girls are quite costly and actually quite overwhelming if thought of in the whole lump sum! which i try not to go there often and lets not even go into the emotional roller coaster!! its not for the weary let me tell ya!! despite that we KNOW all this , you JUST can't put a price tag on a child!!! YET the unfortunate reality is there is a great price to help children get what _every person_ deserves! The right to love, to be encouraged and believed in no matter what!! Did you grow up in safe place to be who you are? OR having the opportunity to be complete in a family whether by blood or adoption? i hope you did! if you didn't, its not too late to change your heritage! i know i had to overcome ALOT of abuse, and every step of it hasn't been easy! YET together with God, we have created a future of hope for my children and they don't have to suffer the deep hurts i did, and therefore my future children, grandchildren and the generations to come have HOPE and the freedom from that! now that is a heritage i'm proud to pass on!

i absolutely feel one should not have to ask money what can i do? but rather that _i_ tell money what i want it to do for me (for others, for you,us etc)! don't let money dictate to you! money especially does not qualify anyone to be family!! our daughters are worth every sacrifice and so we're taking it one step at a time! we know that our circumstances don't define who we are, so we focus forward, one step at a time and move towards our goal! I wholeheartedly thank you if you've blessed us financially, or even encouraged us and prayed with us through each step, you truly have no idea of our deep gratitude!

SO here's the scoop... you may ask what do i love so much about Frida? well to name just a few was her colorful image and how she painted herself through struggle, how she (attempted to) overcome her physical pain, and also knowing her emotional suffering in that she longed for a child. listed below here are photo's of my favorite 5 pieces of my assemblage art featuring her! if you'd like to win the chance to please use the donation button to enter any amount you wish. really any amount is appreciated!! together we make a difference!

i'll put all names in a hat and have my husband draw the winner next Sunday! i'll also throw in some other frida magnets & lil goodies. perfect for gift giving or treats for yourself! if you would (only cause i wanna know it doesn't relate to the drawing) please comment on what YOU love about frida!

THANK YOU!! if you know of any FRIDA ART lovers please feel free to post a link to here or on your blog!

TIE PURSE WINNER

2009-02-26T01:35:00.002-05:00

i'm sorry for the late drawing.....i seriously lost track of my days as i was buried in adoption paperwork frustration!!

ANYHOW _the tiny jewel box_ email me your address she said she was yours darlin!!

foundthingsart AT yahoo with a dot and a com

the grown up coloring book or if you must a ZINE

2009-02-22T01:00:00.003-05:00

i've finally come clean....i've been wanting a grown up coloring book for quite awhile. i decided i should share the love. you could call it a 20 page zine but its for colorin' darlin! you can use it as a pocket journal, gluebook or shoot just color outside the lines baby! the cover is a nice cardstock. inside paper's vary as i'm using a variety of recycled papers for FUNNESS. yes its a word!!

this one is different and its only available on my etsy

Dieunika painted the cover!

and now a giveaway!

2009-02-20T02:58:00.002-05:00

this funky lil purse wants to be YOURS! yes she told me herself! so comment here and i'll draw out a name on Monday!

and the WINNER IS.........

2009-02-18T19:01:00.004-05:00

thank you so much to those who donated! i'm super happy to announce that this fabulously creative jewelry maker and sweet lovin mama won!!

here's a BIG KISS from us to you for those who donated, and be watching your mailbox for a surprise too!!

i've been having a fabulous time in the studio lately and not able to fully complete things because my mind is overflowing with ideas see, and they just wants to run ahead all wild and crazy! its a good & kinda overwhelming too i tell ya!

also seeing that i really need to CLEAN the studio is distracting me. that is NOT normal, believe me i could create in an avalanche! ANYHOW to avoid really cleaning and because I LOVE to be a giver too...i'll be GIVING some art away next (and trying to finish the video i started)!!

OH and i just have to share....it has been beauitful outside lately. A few weeks back it very cold for us Floridians, so cold in fact that alot of my plants and garden DIED. my eggplants, hot red peppers, tomato's and even some sweet potato's. it was a SAD day really. to MY delight there is still some GREEN in the gardens though! i can't wait to enjoy these babies!

ART FUNDRAISER-RAFFLE!!

2009-02-10T12:42:00.004-05:00

remember the doll named love? well she inspired me to write her story, my daughters stories and more! you'll be seeing lots of her soon in a whole nother way! she's becoming a series of kids books and more! here is what she looks like in character hand drawn on a kids white T! all this loot picture below is included for a raffle for adoption fundraising-YES including the T-shirt. donate any amount you'd like to win! i'll be drawing the winner next week!

kids t-shirt 95% cotton 5% spandex
size 6X white....great to dye or leave it as it is!
the loot also includes:
a mixed media gothie on recycled wood piece
(large piece in back)
small coin purse/or cell phone holder crocheted by my lil hands
handmade peppermint soap by this cutie
a funky cool skull felt pin!
a cute lil stuffed plushie art doll
a mini print fabric art plush (featuring my original tribal dolls)
an original drawing/paper doll on a card
a mixed media doll-has a magnet on back, can go on fridge

so there's an awesome lot of LOOT for your artistic pleasure, gifts or you can even use some of it for your own adoption fundraising! for close up's click the picture!

THANK YOU!!

reach for bleach

2009-02-09T05:29:00.001-05:00

wanna feel bleachy clean?? heck NO don't do the laundry!! have fun with some boring ol clothes!

the new Altered Couture has my article on pages 118-120 plus many other fab artwork! go check it out man!

NOT your ordinary valentine!

2009-02-06T03:25:00.002-05:00

STILL TIME to get an embellished individual print of my original drawings featuring "my purdy lil freaks" $3 (with shipping) OR a set 6 of cards- these pictured are mini sized aprrox 3x4 $6 -each has handmade/recycled envies inside reads "be MY freak"

available on www.foundthings.etsy.com or comment!

fresh ink

2009-01-30T15:14:00.004-05:00

this is the tattoo i drew up awhile back. they look awesome thanks to stacie of www.meantattoos.com. the right side is still a work in progress, i have a creepy little bird and some hebrew to put on it. now every time i draw it will inspire me!

back in the studio!!

2009-01-29T01:48:00.002-05:00

its been a few months since i've been able to be creative just for ME! well for you too...i'm working on a how2 video! i'm still editing it. it should be done in a few days!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2008-12-25T06:17:00.005-05:00

I just came back from Haiti on Saturday and brought the best Christmas present back with me!! SHE'S HOME!!

WE all JUST can't get enough of her....especially DADDY! we have to remind him..SHE's HOME NOW and don't make her ROTTEN! LOL if you'd like to read more details of her story i'm slowly chronicling the whole thing here on her blog www.fortheloveofdieunika.blogspot.com

my birssday present and thoughts

2008-12-08T01:52:00.005-05:00

got it over a week ago and its SO lookin purdy! i've been wanting it for a few years...always putting it off cause off the spending on myself thing is hard to do ya know! i knew once i did it i would want another one right away! i've actually been working on one for my other hand for awhile but don't have it quite figured out design wise, so i got the sun and moon because it goes with the one i'm working on. in the meantime i was inspired by a mendhi flower i recently seen so i've drawn something pretty to wrap around my pinky and then go up the side by the moon and up on my top part of my arm....i'll get that transfered but not sure when i'll actually get it. i of course don't want anything for christmas except for my girls to come home!!! i just can't justify any xtra spending till their home! that won't stop me from designing it though. i usually forgo any presents for birthdays/christmas anyhow cause i just don't want a whole lot for myself...i'm just so blessed and content with what i have! my husband still can't stand NOT getting me anything, its taken many years to get him to understand i completely LOVE things found. REALLY. he'll totally do that...but then STILL insist on what i WANT besides that. i repeatedly say, i want things that you just can't buy. he'll smile usually but on occasion just sigh. i'm thankful he really does get it, i'm sure its so hard to be my husband!! he does try so hard, and sometimes it drives him crazy, yet its a good thing to be loved so!

today i get dieunika's paperwork in order and all set to go next week to Haiti. i wanted to go this week, but just don't think we can get everything we need done paperwork wise, not to mention outrageous fairs!! We have another fundraiser this Sat. Our uncle's polynesian dance group will be performing a full luau dinner show. $20 gets you in!! I'll be posting the flyer later. If your local and want to come drop me a line!

And so another day to be thankful

2008-12-08T00:49:00.007-05:00

Last nights event was so awesome! A HUUUUGE Thank YOU to the Selah Venue,Nick & Stephanie, the Reed Family, all the bands who played,the Warriors and Fire Dancers, Tom Clark, Kathy and Mari, Maria & Gloria, Jordan and everyone who generously gave!! Thank You for being apart of our journey!! We are so very grateful, there just aren't enough words.

I've started a seperate blog
www.fortheloveofdieunika.blogspot.com

Going back and getting more into details, for those who wanna know.

Much Alofa from the heart of my family!

artist extreme fundraiser

2008-11-28T21:10:00.005-05:00

i'm working to get some new art up after i finish this next weekend. if you live close by come on out and see us!!

chosen: where one becomes two

2008-11-13T09:24:00.004-05:00

you can't go into an orphanage and come back the same. truly you can't. the first time i went was only for a few days. we had no real time to spend with the kids as we were in and out,then in and out again, focused on our purpose. it had already been an emotional journey due to the circumstance of our visit, yet to not see each and every pair of eyes searching for my attention was impossible! despite their situations, their eyes showed no trace of saddness! how could i not be moved by what i saw. babies,toddlers,tweens oh my! eyes wide and smiles big!! some in waiting for paperwork to process, some waiting to be chosen.

that word
chosen,
makes tears flow.

chosen.

they have to be chosen!
i can't fathom it-
here is where i choke up.
here is where my tears can not be contained.

to be chosen.....

my little one chose me.
i did not seek her.
i have no words adequate or elegant enough to explain.

i
was
chosen.

i wonder if i could have enough tears to cry for every child that hasn't been chosen yet.
surely every night i spent there, i cried a thousand tears as
i was going to sleep with my little one
and she with her mommy.

i am not an orphan. she is not an orphan.

could you, would you,
do you know how it feels to be chosen?

waiting from birth to be
fed,loved and adored or
worse yet your parents
love you,
your dad dies while your mom
is pregnant
when she delivers she & baby are very ill
she barely walks into the village
trying to get her baby taken to the hospital
to be met by someone who sees the mother
herself is at deaths door
doctor says she won't live
amazingly she does!!
unfortunately she can't afford to feed herself
let alone her children
the new baby she loves is given up for adoption
the two older children come and go with her
for years being feed at the orphanage
sometimes your just dropped off
and left at the orphanage-
not just once
not just twice
enough times for you
to know it won't be the last
and such is the life of
johanne

this bright faced, sweet, hard working 12 yr old girl sees loving families
come in and out of the orphanage
chosing babies
the very babies and toddlers
that she looks after,
carrying water buckets,
washing their clothes by hand
feeding and changing them,
loving and playing with them!

on my first visit my friend had asked
her to look out for dieunika while we were gone.
with a big smile she agreed! she was important!!
the day before we were to go, in conversation
i joked to barbara my youngest son said he didn't want a younger
sister, he wanted an older one or one his age so he could play with her.
really he still wanted his "baby position". LOL
she casually mentioned well johanne is his age.
really, i thought her mother lived in the village with her.
hmm i hadn't thought seriously on it.
i would have to talk
to kerry and the boys.
so i did.
and i prayed,
and i thought could we possibly
get approved, get grants for two?
i thought one was going to be a challenge
BUT
i'm believing for the impossible!
its a very big commitment, but impossible
i don't think so!!!

the second visit to the orphanage
i brought a beautiful dress for johanne
and brought the others little gifts,shoes,clothes and formula.
the first day she and another girl her age asked to sleep
in the room with us. i said sure!
that night we each in a bed and
the lights out,
i hear
her praying.
tears begin slipping
down my face
and i cry out to
God.
my heart cries
for every prayer
she's every prayed
for every day
that she's gone without
for all the loss
and pain that her young
life has experienced
as i cried
and cried
not nearly enough tears
to cover her pain
i knew she has a future!!
so i ask God to give me the honor
to share her tomorrows.

she is chosen....
but she doesn't know it yet!!
i have to wait to tell her.
wait. yes wait. she has to go
on knowing she's not chosen.
we have begun the paperwork
and now have to
WAIT.

and so here our journey
as adoption parents
begin!

hello haiti, here i come again

2008-10-29T02:27:00.002-04:00

i'm sure you've seen enough of the devastation photo's of haiti, so i thought i'd capture what's left of its natural beauty.

i'll be returning in a few days. i'm praying and expecting a medical visa AND good news of my adorable little one's coming home with me!! please pray specifically with me that she'll return home fast and safe. it would be incredible if she could fly home with me. i can't wait to see her cute little face and hear her laughter!!

my little girl!!!!

2008-10-24T01:21:00.002-04:00

i have been quiet and scant i know. i just returned from haiti a few days ago. a very long and emotional story short dieunika is going to officially be our little girl!!! these beautiful people who reallllllly love her are doing an amazingly selfless thing by allowing their beloved daughter the freedom out of haiti.

as you know if you've been reading she has medical issues and her papa explained they did all they could to take care of her and she almost died. they did the absolute best they could and without them she wouldn't have gotten this far. she is much better now after the surgeries although she does still have a few medical issues. the father before he left put my hand in his and then his daughters and said "she is in your hands now". i choked back tears as we walked them out of the village. i told them i would never let her forget them and i won't. i can't imagine the sacrifice, my heart cries for them.

unfortunately we had to leave her in my friends orphanage until we can get her medical visa. my mind can not rest, nor my heart not ache. i know she is safe in my friends village. you can get a quick peek of it here.

she is having a hard time being in the village though. she won't really let anyone take care of her. although last i knew she did bond with one of the ladies in the village. i am going back in a week or so. it feels like forever. i miss her laughter!

all of this is a "suddenly". we weren't prepared for this SO we now have alot of fundraising to do!!!!

Come Hang with us!!

2008-09-26T13:28:00.004-04:00

If your local come by and see us tonight for live music,cool people and helping a great cause! We're family friendly and even have board games you can play together. If you need some quiet space to work or hang we offer that and Free WIFI too. Click photo for close up and directions!

Our Grand opening activities starts next week!

Cool People AMAZING MUSIC

2008-09-20T15:00:00.002-04:00

these two amazing women played at the cafe last night and totalllllllly rocked!!
i can't get enough of their music!!

i don't have pics yet
imagine

a girl,her guitar,her friend and a drum
....pure, raw,original, beautiful, music at its finest.
you can listen to amyO here
and terrell her music isn't on there though she's one hot mama to look at!!

dieunika's recovery

2008-08-30T16:58:00.002-04:00

after a rough few days my beautiful Dieunika is fully recovering! here she is sitting up only 2 days after surgery on her stomach! if your not aware of her story she came from haiti about 6 mths ago after one of our team members while delivering water purifiers of air mobile became aware of her need. she was born without an properly formed anus therefore her body (had naturally) formed a colostomy, (bile came right out a hole in her stomach). her first surgery reconstructed the anus, this surgery reconnected all the insides and close the hole! yesterday was the first time she ever felt a fart or poo!! something one wouldn't normally be excited about! BUT WE ARE!! she was especially excited because she was able to remove the tube from her nose and EAT!!! yesterday the first thing she told me when she woke up was I WANT TO EAT! *cringe* luckily later in the day she was able too! her body is functioning and on the road to recovery! she may even come home from the hospital today! as soon as she's all healed up we'll be returning her to her loving family who are anxiously awaiting her return!

she is truly an amazing just turned 3 year old! (she was born on my oldest birthday too!) very early friday morning (1 a.m.) she was awakened by the nurse and couldn't go back to sleep. i was getting sleepy and laying next to her. she kept playing with me and saying "wake up -wake up my friend "and laughing! course i couldn't sleep then! so we played. its such a cute story why she calls us her friend (alot). i have to share it. cindy, aka my compassionate world changing friend and partner (aka the other half of (airmobile) joe) is her main guardian. she has children and her kiddos of course call her mom and so Dieunika started to call her that as well. (and would echo that when with me as well) of course she (we) don't want her to forget her mom and family so she (we) reminded her quite abit about her mom, her house and how she will be going home once she is better. so cindy explained i'm your friend, not your mom. then asked her are you my friend? nods of course! so now quite often she will ask "are you my friend?" to us. yep then we remind her of home and how much we love her! we both say to her "we love being your friend!" so when i was really tired and our playing was ceasing, i laid my head down, she looked at me sweetly and asked "are you ok my friend?". (i had been asking her that all day!)

i said "yes, are you?"
"yep" she says
a moment of silence
"what are you doing my friend?" she says
"i'm going to sleep ok?"
she nods
another moment of silence
"are you ok my friend?"
i nod and ask "are you?"
she nods and reaches over to hold my hand.
i tell her she is so brave. (she has no clue!)
this sweet talk questioning happens a few more times.
then she says "no talkin go to sleep!"
i giggle and say "ok!"
more silence.
then she says softly "what are you doing, my friend?"
i giggle and say "i thought there was no talkin!!"
she smiles a big toothless smile (she had rotten front teeth pulled a few months ago)!
i went to sleep with her caressing my face and holding my hand.
oooooh sweet baby love!!!! *insert heart swell*

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Doing it afraid

2008-08-05T14:51:00.001-04:00

SianosFirstPublicPerformance
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

my sons first public performance last friday.
he was so nervous, but he rocked it.
he was so elated afterward!
he said, "i was afraid, but i did it anyway"
*sigh* very proud mama moment!!!

my art in the cafe

2008-08-01T01:51:00.001-04:00

my art in the cafe
Originally uploaded by paintYOURworld

Sigur Rós

2008-07-24T00:03:00.007-04:00

if you haven't seen Sigur Rós--heima
on sundance channel get up and go watch it now-seriously move it!!
their music is

majestic.pure.raw.unadulterated beauty...

just as much so as their beloved Iceland.

their untitled #1 song, (its a live recording so wait for it-its not the first 10+ secs sounds)
moved me incredibly
to sobbing,
the. first. song. to. ever
it felt like touching God
and
then
there
was
silence.