All you are, experience and ultimately achieve can be traced back to how you have made use of these two simple yet vastly powerful tools-your words and your thoughts. -Dr. Cindy Trimm

WORDS ARE POWERFUL. What begins in your mind most often becomes you. Over the past year I have endure great hardship and loss. So many times my thoughts were filled with questions. Many went unanswered. There were moments I did not have the strength to get out of bed, yet I had to!! I did not give up, despite times of weariness! I kept fighting back with my words, with Divine Words. The Creator spoke into the unformed void darkness the existence of LIGHT! Do you get that, it was unformed, a VOID darkness! It began with a void! Do you have a void in your life right now? I know I have been facing this VOID for over a year now. I have been speaking to it! I questioned hey VOID are YOU LISTENING~I'm COMING OUT AlIVE! YES I'm speaking to you DARKNESS- to all the lies I've been told, to all the lies told about me, to all the doubts, to all the doubters! The silence that I've been captured in is NO MORE! I have authority with the TRUTH. Not a version of the truth, but the fullness of TRUTH. i AM A CREATED being created in the image of the

אלהים ELOHIYM. That means I have the power to speak things like he does!

. Yes we each have that very same authority given by the Creator to us! You must understand the power of the spoken word, YOUR spoken words!

What occupy's your mind determines what eventually fills your mouth, your outer world showcases all that has dominated, and at times subjugated your inner world. -Dr. Cindy Trimm

I recently heard Dr. Trimm speak on her book Command your Morning. If you follow that link you can read the first chapter. It has some good stuff there! I haven't read the whole book, but listening to her speak encouraged me, so I imagine her written word would as well!

I have been writing and creating in the midst of my chaos. Not just one chaos, a host of chaos. Some of it still raging. Despite it all, I have and will continue to walk THROUGH the valley of deep darkness into MY LIGHT. I found at times, my spirit was silent in great expectation, and often very still in my Maker's presence. He is the greatest inspiration! I can't wait to share more with you!

If you are in the midst of a VOID. HOLD ON and SPEAK to your darkness! If you can't find the strength to speak, reach out to someone who can be your voice, till your strong enough on your own! OR USE THESE the CREATORS WORDS to get you started!

"LET THERE BE LIGHT!!"

Let me be a seal upon your heart

Often things, or relationships must die, in order for them to experience resurrection. Each of us are beautifully flawed. We all encounter struggles. No one is exempt. We have moments of the realization that despite giving all, it was simply not enough. Many people want to hide the rawness, the brokeness, pain and sorrow. Yes there are often a time this is best. There are also too many times the darkness must be exposed, so the light can destroy that which was hidden. If darkness is allowed to remain silent it has no purpose. When one isolates themselves into darkness they are allowing it to stay. Maybe not consciously, but it is permission granted none the less. We are not alone, sorrow, pain and neglect are not subject to a certain class. We all must pass through this on some level.

I feel lead to share my struggles simply because I know I am not alone. I know there are many others who are or have been where I am. Ache and loss is great. However they are not greater than the Divine. I want you see that I've gathered all my broken pieces, instead of sweeping them under and away, I'm going to lay them out. Why? Because when I brought them to my Rescuer and laid them down at his feet. He motioned for me to pick them up one by one. The first piece was jagged and sharp, it left cuts on my hands as I put it in His. What I saw as He closed His palm and what what revealed at the relase of His grip, made my eyes WIDE with delight at the revelation. When he released it to me, and entered it into my being, I gasped and staggered at the strength that filled my core. His powerfully Majestic voice echoed through out me. "Do not replace a promise for a lie"

Let me be a seal upon your heart,

Like the seal upon your hand

For love is fierce as death

Passion is mighty as Sheol

Its darts are darts of fire,

A blazing flame

Vast floods cannot quench love

Nor river drown it

If a man offered all his wealth for love

He would be laughed to scorn.

the songs 8: 6-7

Let me be a seal upon your heart.

sharing.love.this.because.i

fall. love.favorite
orange, black, and kitty!!!
its my new wallpaper

i want to live in a patchwork house!

my little home
Originally uploaded by eanie meany

i'm totally jealous!

W.O.W moment

We are responsible for the stories we tell and for those we choose not tell. Our silences speak volumes about whom and what we value. - Rabbi Sandy Eiseenberg Sasso

Most often I choose silence in respect of differences. Quite often this gives the wrong impression. It can say, I agree with you, your opinion has more value or truth, I'm absorbing what you said, I am weak, well you get the idea. In the area of my life that this currently applies to, its none of the above. Timing is important. It is not weakness, it actually takes a DIVINE strength to keep my mouth shut! The most incredible part is, when you are released from silence, it has this poetic revival of solace that dances amongst the rain. There is absolutely no force that can withhold the inextinguishable rejoicing!!

Tsunami: Finding Friends and Family

Tsunami: Finding Friends and Family
Originally uploaded by See Reev

Thanks to a wonderful Peace Corp volunteer, Sara, you can see a few photo's of my husbands village (click photo) .

Sara and some others kindly went out searching for families. She attempted to find my sister and her 8 children but wasn't able to as my sister had gone way up into the bush (or the forest) out of fear. She's about an hour-n-half walk from the main road that passes through the village. The volunteers did attempt to go up but after seeing people on their way up, they realized it was too far and soon ran into our cousin Tavita and passed on info that we were trying to contact them and even gave them a phonecard!

Compared to photo's of a well known village and beach resort about 20 minutes away this looks amazingly good! This one below absolutely amazes me, you'll notice the ground is completely gouged and the coconut trees are standing by their roots only!!!

This photo is taken by Bryan Russel of Raw Shakti Yoga. They have gone out before international aide arrived to those who had not been helped. Thank you, thank you for helping the unseen! You can see their daily video's if you follow the you tube video below.

We fortunately got to speak to my sister around 4:30 a.m Saturday for over and hour!! It was the best phone call as she even laughed quite abit and all I could do was smile too knowing she could find her laughter in such tragedy!

She's most likely staying in tents like this

(photo by Bryan Russell)

She did however say she is NOT coming back down to what once was her home (although there is nothing left she says anyhow, they lived seaside). We are planning to go to Samoa asap and that lifted her spirits, she said when we come she may go down with us and thats it. We are hoping to be able to build a new house for her, inland of course, we are planning to stay too. It only takes a moment to realize your too far away and life is too short to be apart any longer, it was an quick and easy decision.

She lives about 10 minutes from where (the first photograph by Sara) was taken in Saleaaumua. That photograph happens to be the home of a family who lost their mum. Apparently she thought it was safe after the first wave to return, so she was going back for this van (behind the tree) and her purse. She happened to own a store, so wanted to go back for her money. Unfortunately she did not know there was more waves coming in and lost her life. We are so sorry for her family, our family. (Everyone who lives in the village are related) The head of meteorology stated the first wave came in a 7:20 and the second more destructive one at 7:30.

We also lost several aunties and cousins in our village. We seen their names officially listed on the pacificeyewitness.com They had a burial for all, together. Funerals in Samoan culture is an extraordinary communal experience all itself with formal traditions and ceremonies that are not ever taken lightly. To have to have them all as one is not so respectful. Not forgetting that it is also well celebrated by food and considering the circumstances and current lack of the ability to fish, it is in no way normal. They also bury their dead in their yard, usually you will see a well decorated grave marking passing by. I read online that the government will be making a memorial graveyard in the city (Apia). This is also highly unusual for Samoan's to release their dead to others. My sister said the stench of decay was terrible and she was perturbed that some went back down with their children, to stay.

My sisters (brother-in-law) lost his wife and four children to the ocean. My heart completely aches for him.

when love speaks

If you've been reading my blog for awhile you may know my husband is from the beautiful Pacific Islands of Samoa. His family resides on the breathtaking SouthEastern coast of Upolu in the district of Aleipata. If you step out the back door of their fale, within feet you'll be in water.

Yesterday a tsunami struck the beautiful people of Samoa. A distraught phone call from our niece living stateside informed us that her mother had run screaming first alerting the village and then frantically running for her life toward the school where her children were on their way. Her oldest son was already off in the distance working the land. The whole village ran toward the mountain for higher ground. This occurred @ 6:30 a.m. We were driving to a birthday dinner with friends when we received the phone call. I could tell by the drop in my husband's face right after he said hello that there was disturbing news.

I tried desperately to help my husband curb his fears by stating it was good news that he at least knew she was alive. I asked about her children. She currently has 7 living with her from ages 24-6. Her husband had recently passed away. He responded with one of them is missing, he's in another village (Lalomanu) with her husbands family. His niece stated that during the phone call all her mom could do was sob in concern for him and then they lost connection.

After many failed attempts to contact her ourselves, we tried to talk ourselves into not panicking. Ok i tried, my husband was too overwhelmed. I kept finding positives. At least we had some contact with her, the kids are alive!! I could tell he was absorbed with knowing they had no warning, imagining the fear and panic, the aftermath, its was all too much.

We had no idea at the time of any details of the quake and its aftermath. I watched my husband for the next few hours break the phone circuits at lighting speed, alerting all our local samoan friends and family, trying to find out more info.

My husband was emotionally exhausted from not knowing, and he eventually went to bed around 1 a.m. I knew he would not really sleep without talking to her.

I walked quietly into our bedroom knowing he was still awake despite his eyes closed, so I sat on the bed dialing her number over and over, praying desperately. I didn't get a circuit busy recording! After about 4 tries of calling and absolutely no ringing, just silence...I found hope in that I wasn't getting a recording. As I dialed one last time - she answered!!! I smacked my husband fully awake and said TALK in fear the connection wouldn't last! As soon as he said her name she began speed talking, I could hear but not make out what she was saying she was talking so fast! After they talked for a few minutes, and lots of one syllable reactions from my husband, and even several different moments of him yelling her name to get her to stop her obsessive speed talking, so he could ask questions, I could tell he was about to lose it. He began to sob uncontrollably. I could hear her say please don't cry, its going to make it even harder for me. Since I could hear her talking and he couldn't over his own sobbing I kept trying to get him to calm down so he could actually talk to her about the others, knowing the phone call could end at any moment. He later told me he was trying to get his older nephew, (in his 20's) to talk to him, and he wouldn't or he couldn't speak because he was in tears. He said he could hear the other kids saying, uncle please come!! He felt completely powerless.

His nephew had just returned from going back to the house to try to gather some things. Apparently they couldn't get close because the water was still covering everything, and the house was completely gone. Elisa (his sister) gave him an account of who was known to be dead, and those still missing. Because of some of his family still not knowing who and what, I won't be sharing any details out of respect. She did say they had word that her son was ok even tho he was in Lalomanu (which we have seen absolutely devastating photos of complete destruction). She said that there were bodies still being discovered as they were covered in the sand and water. She stated that many of them had ran in all sorts of directions toward the mountain, and they were presently sleeping in the bush. She also said, a few had turned around to go back for their personals and lost their lives. I'm guessing this was after the first wave.

Their whole village has been destroyed.