Saturday, May 11, 2013

Divorce: Do not trade a Promise for a Lie




I won't trade a promise for a lie.


To begin where I left off...
          YES!!
     this is a love story.
I have to go back however,
to what I call "altars of remembrance".
I have to go back because it took the depths {of brokenness}
to perform my deliverance.
I had a heart transplant.

 It was a necessary surgery for me

                to truly understand

what and who Love Is.

I AM.


Love Is, I AM.


This may be hard to
understand at this point,
but please stay with me.
I'm painting a picture here
and the outline must be in
place before I can add
the details.
WHAT?
WHY?
I've gotten this question plenty.
To explain what came out of the depths
and I have to go back into the depths.
Come follow my pen,
let me show you brushstroke
by brushstroke.
Its a masterpiece that one must watch oneself.

 Unless your willing to sit with me
                   and feel it, 
  

   it's really quite unbelievable!

Why must I tell?
Why must you read?
Because I too once thought that
this would never happen to me.
I was blind, but now I see.
Do not be deceived by smoke and mirrors.
 It affects you too.
At some point you will recognize the realities.
  It's in your family. It has affected those you love deeply.
      You may not know. You may know.
      It is not a respecter of persons.


I wrote the highlighted excerpt below in the midst of betrayal.
Even then I knew there was a purpose.

Let's sit in "that" moment for a bit. 


As time slowed to less than seconds

 I had in full view a mirror image of my heart transparent. 

I was living in anesthesia prior to that moment. 

Suddenly I watched in unbelief my heart erupting flesh blood.

Awakening I felt the sharp edge of that scalpel at the very moment of incision.

 It was a divorce of my former self.


I knew. It was time.

I could not escape the scalpel.
The incision was made.
Either way was death.
To ignore it didn't make it go away, I was dying anyhow.
The excruciating pain awoke every nerve.
My heart was pumping blood everywhere a midst my opened chest.
My hands immediately tried to cover the opening and apply pressure.
Shock rang through me.
There was no way out on my own.
I could not avoid help.
Death was pounding at my door.
I was covered in blood.
I was desperate.

I feel lead to share my struggles simply because I know I am not alone.

 I know there are many others who are or have been where I am. 
Ache and loss is great.
 However they are not greater than the Divine. 
I want you see that I've gathered all my broken pieces, instead of sweeping them under and away, 
I'm going to lay them out. 

Why?

 Because when I brought them to my Rescuer
 and laid them down at his feet,
 He motioned for me
 to pick them up.
 One by one. 

The first piece was jagged and sharp,
 it left cuts on my hands as I put it in His. 
What I saw as He closed His palm 
and what was revealed at the release of His grip,
 made my eyes WIDE with delight
        at the revelation
When he released it to me, 
and entered it into my being, 
I gasped and staggered
 at the strength that filled my core.

 His powerfully Majestic 
      voice   e c h o e d   throughout me.

"Do not replace a promise for a lie"



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