I wrote this almost 4 years ago. When I wrote it, I thought it directly related to the heart shattering realization and deception that occurred by a family that I trusted concerning the adoption we were in. The beginning of much brokenness in my family and my life was exposed at this traumatic point of my life, our lives.
Now this is where I wish I could translate my spiritual state to the natural! I have approached moments recently where my natural being starts screaming, pounding and stomping !!ENOUGH!!, and I momentarily lose focus. My natural says don't fall into the expanse!! My spiritual says, you must go in the depths to get across. CONFLICT! The warfare ensues! I find myself tangled in the beauty of being the created.
"I must go into the depths to get across."
I have been in the depths since 2009 when I wrote that. This is the disentangling of my story coming out of the depths and emerging anew. It is a painfully beautiful story of redemption. It was only through the carving depths of betrayal that I encountered freedom, true freedom.
We are responsible for the stories we tell
and for those we choose not tell. Our silences speak volumes about whom and what we value. - Rabbi Sandy Eiseenberg Sasso
Most often I choose silence in respect of differences. Quite often this gives the wrong impression. It can say, I agree with you, your opinion has more value or truth, I'm absorbing what you said, I am weak, well you get the idea. In the area of my life that this currently applies to, its none of the above.
Timing is important. It is not weakness, it actually takes a DIVINE strength to keep my mouth shut!
lThe most incredible part is,
when you are released from silence,
it has this poetic revival of solace that dances
amongst the rain.
There is absolutely no force that can
withhold
the inextinguishable rejoicing!!
this IS where I pause {to dance}
because I'm RELEASED!!
In the meantime while I dance
catch yourself up on reading here.
