Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Enjoying family

meandgranny
My beautiful grandmother!

The road this time has brought me home, to where I grew up. I have been enjoying my grandparents, and family. My boys do not want to leave! lol They have spent so much of their life away from family, that they really do appreciate being here. It reminds me, of what I often take for granted. Life is so fragile, and there is no promise of tomorrow. Your family may not be around you, but if possible take the time to connect with them. They may or may not show it, or say it, but it does touch their heart. Even the coldest of ones.
I am so thankful for the time, I get to spend with the beautiful people who invest in my life. There is so much you learn about yourself with your family (good and even bad) and even appreciate more when you are older. For that wisdom, I am thankful!

I am one happy & blessed woman!

photo by carla naron
photo by Carla Naron

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The SOURCE of my JOY


I Chose JOY!

The source of my JOY can be summed up in one powerful word-





It may be infinitely worse to refuse to forgive than to murder, because
the latter may be an impulse of a moment of heat; whereas the former
is a cold and deliberate choice of the heart.

George MacDonald


I did not harden my heart.

It is incredibly hard

for some to understand

how I can

FORGIVE

{yes even the adultress and her pride}

AND be

so thankful

and full of

JOY.

Forgiveness is my weapon.

My pain is valid

and yet

{Forgiveness is the scent that the rose leaves on
the heel that crushes it.}

Forgiveness does not release the offender from walking away

without any

consequences to their choices

consequences are a natural part of life...

however

FORGIVENESS

does release and empower

the one forgiving

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

-Gandhi


It is a daily CHOICE to forgive.

I know its not easy,

but its possible!


Never does the human soul appear so strong as when is foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

E.H. Chapin


Because I chose this, JOY happens naturally.

I find favor in places I never knew.

I find favor in the eyes

of

My Love,

{the one that matters most}

True Love NEVER FAILS.


who am I talking to??


i have to go here;
i'm sorry if it may be too much
however this is not about you,
heck its not about me....
and yet it is




This is exactly why I must tell my story.
You are why I must tell my story.
For far too long, you have had your own way.
all the while hindering your own blessing
oh yes you may think its all so good now
but deep down you know,
you KNOW
you
have traded a promise for a lie...
trying to justify
trying to convince others
yet they know
even
they know!
and for those who have accepted the lie,
they do not truly love you.
if they did they would FIGHT for you.
for the truth,
for your freedom!
you have
thoughtlessly traded
your birthright
blind,
lacking in understanding
of what you have given up!
you sold your birthright Esau!

while you have proudly put on a show for the public
pretending,
yet knowing
that you
are settling for an imitation....

though you don't deserve it.
I will fight for your destiny,
because someone fought
for my destiny!

LIKEWISE
where my story left off
I was so close to settling for an imitation.
I deserve better!
I'm so much happier on my own!
I want to be happy!
AND FREE
God doesn't want me to not be happy!
Its time to let go & move on!
There is someone else who will be better!
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME


THIS IS WHERE I WAKE UP.
THIS IS WHERE {THE LORD}
asks
me
the question.

"Do you LOVE me?"

my reply: {of course i do!}

"Do you LOVE me?"

again my reply: {you know I do!}

He softly calls my name....

"emmy"
"Do you LOVE me?"

My heart breaks and tears flow. Because I know what He's asking.
And Because I do love Him.

I sobbingly reply: I can't do it without you Lord.

He holds me close, kisses my face and whispers "I know".



Tuesday, November 1, 2011

not by my might, but BY YOUR SPIRIT, says the Lord


This photo was taken last year.
It is extremely significant.
It is God showing me WHO he is.
It is one of a series of many prayers being answered.
It is the promise of restoration.
It is the representation of TRUE LOVE.
Before you say or think awwww..
I must tell you this is not that kind of love story!

I wrote this post then
The quote

We are responsible for the stories we tell

& for those we choose not tell.

Our silences speak volumes
about whom & what we value.

-Rabbi SE Sasso



It is my time to tell my story, Gods story!!


My silence then, was only the beginning
of the MOST beautiful LOVE STORY.

It will now speak of whom and what I value.


Two years ago,
the most beautiful thing
happened to me!!!

Adultery

yes i said it was a beautiful thing!
ok not actually
but what came from it was!

The Creator of Love,
showed me the TRUTH of LOVE,


_I thought_
adultery
killed
my marriage.
{insert evil laugh}
IT thought it
destroyed our lives.
and sat laughing at our pain-
delighting in its lust and seduction-
telling lies,
misrepresenting
what Love is,
an imitation
selfish to its very core.

It sold us lies,
that we bought.
_temporarily_
BUT
IT DID NOT.
WIN

{insert JOY & DANCING}

it ONLY MADE
EVERYTHING BETTER!!!!

OH Yah IT DID!
yes, you can believe it.

was actually LIFE!

I wouldn't change a moment
since it was exposed.
It contains a strength
that refuses to be silent!

LET THERE BE LIGHT!

Now you may think, this love story
is about my husband and I....
well not really.

Its about the Creator of Covenant.
because he understands how we are made
My Love story,
is that of He,
the
One that is jealous of my LOVE
He loved me in a way
that I can often not comprehend
WHY? OH why?

would this beautiful Creator
value me?
Broken, Flawed & Unfaithful
yes unfaithful to Him....
THAT I AM NO MORE.
the CREATOR showed me
the power of Love
that can destroy strongholds,
that can destroy lies,
that can overcome,
anything.
yes even that!
yes even THIS!

Before you let your mind wander
let me clarify
My unfaithfulness
didn't come in the form of a flesh
it came in a
much more
devious
fashion...
dressed
to the nines..
disguising itself as freedom...
yet it was only
leading me
toward
my
captivity.

Stay tuned

This story will be continued....